Published on 12, July, 2020
I have a hard time asking questions but I also have a harder time asking for simple favors.
I am not sure if it is my pride, but I like to prove that I don't need help from anyone, I can do it by myself. It's not right to be extreme in this and I am working on learning and improving.
I wonder if someone has similar experiences.
I always assumed I was like this because of all the times I've asked for a favour, someone says it's fine, and then later it turns out they resented having to do it or expected something in return that they didn't specify. I guess being autistic makes it more surprising when that happens, as I can't pick up on whatever hints people think they're dropping.
Yes, I can relate to this as well.
That point too adds to why I don't ask for help as often. I actually dislike the "scratch my back so I'd scratch yours " thing. It feels like a manipulative game to me, even tho I know that most people don't use it this way. Still, when I help someone or do something nice, I don't expect anything in return. I do it happily and only when I'm very comfortable with doing it. I'm usually very surprised that people want something in return (not all of them of course). Sometimes they ask me to do something that I don't want to do and they are like "how come we do this and that for you and you don't do this for me?". I'm like "I'm not doing it because I don't want to! The fact that you did me a favour won't pressure me into doing something that I don't like!". I find this situation irritating. It definitely makes me careful about whom to ask for help