Published on 12, July, 2020
I think like quite a lot of autistic people (i am a 21 year old female) my friendships are usually quite intense and with only 1 or two people at a time rather than ever being in a big friendship group.
So far i have no autistic friends.
I notice that the neurotypical girl best friends i have had throughout life are almost always quite confident, outspoken, and extroverted . I feel like having these friends sometimes feels like a shield in social situations and helps me to be more confident- and then when we’re alone it makes me feel more able to be outspoken about things too as there’s less pressure on me to ‘keep the conversation going’ etc.
Was wondering if anyone else has noticed any patterns in their neurotypical friendships/ qualities in people they end up gravitating towards?
My NT friends are all part of the LGBTQ+ community. There's a lot of overlap between that community and ND people anyway so most of my friends are both (as am I), but I think there's a lot of shared experience even for those who aren't- having to hide parts of who you are, knowing you're different even before you know WHY you're different, being treated poorly for something that does no harm and is beyond your control... we understand each other a bit more despite the differences.
But those that I know and hangout with, well either live abroad so we video from time to time or they live in the same city and they are introverts. Introvert doesn't equal not confident, extrovert doesn't equal confident.
I struggle with figuring out who's a friend and who's not..
Two of my closest friends from school went on to become professional actors (both have appeared on stage, TV and film ), so that would fit in to your pattern of becoming friends with confident, extrovert people.
My daughter is also autistic and one of my friends is self-diagnosed (she is a medical doctor), but other than that I haven't had much interaction with other autists, except online.
I'm friendless. I've tried many times making autistic and NT friends but was unsuccessful. I was always the quiet girl growing up to was on her own.
I'm not sure I have any. Not close friends anyway. My best friend isn't autistic but is dyspraxic and considering getting assessed for ADHD. Most of the people I hang out with are autistic, mixture of self-identified and professionally diagnosed (and a lot of us on waiting lists). A few are ADHD. Some haven't disclosed any neurodivergence but I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if they did.