What I'd be like if I wasn't masking - a mess of contradictions

I don't think anything is wrong with liking all of those things, and you shouldn't feel like you have to hide. Even if people don't enjoy the same things as you, if they're good people they can still appreciate that you enjoy it.

I have a lot of really varied interests, and have a new hyperfixation every other week. I'm sad that you feel you have to fit in any box, but I also relate to the feeling too. It's easy to say on paper that its better to be yourself, but it doesn't always feel that way.

I don't want to overstep or assume, but it seems you might be a bit at odds over these differing interests because they are generally depicted as opposite sides of a spectrum? Like if you enjoy one of these things you aren't supposed to or allowed to enjoy the other, which is totally dumb and nonsensical.

There are people out there who will enjoy you and your interests because they're yours and what you like, even if they don't have that specific interest themselves. If we were all the same it'd be pretty boring, and it can actually be really interesting to learn about someones passions you don't share.

Thank you Goblin you really get it!

Goblin said:

I don't want to overstep or assume, but it seems you might be a bit at odds over these differing interests because they are generally depicted as opposite sides of a spectrum? Like if you enjoy one of these things you aren't supposed to or allowed to enjoy the other, which is totally dumb and nonsensical.

That's exactly it! That's what I meant by fitting into a box, people define each other by catagories and I dont seem to fit into any of them so it leaves me a bit lonley and friendless unless I mask pretty hard.

I feel like Sporty people would laugh at me for my sensitive side and more arty sensitive people get put off by the sporty, bantery side.Both have happened to me in the past. Leaves me a bit stuck in the middle and alone. I wish everyone could just be taken for what they are 

I think it's pretty common to think things are black and white like that - because they are portrayed that way quite a lot. I'm more creatively inclined in that I like music, reading, art, baking etc. but I also like gaming (to the point that when I played online games I was very competitive). Growing up being a girl and going to an all girls school, I was seen as weird for liking games both online and offline.

These days I've even started to get into D&D, and I still have other fixations like my pets, and more recently aquariums. There's no end to what you're "allowed" to like and you don't HAVE to like certain things either. I'm really sorry that you're feeling low about this, but there are definitely people like you and people who will accept you for who you are - even though it really doesn't feel like it at times.

I like traditionally "girly" things, "nerdy" things and "boy" things. I'm just me, and it can be hard to feel ok with that, but I think it's better than the alternative - you know what you like, and I'm sure you'd rather have those things than not, right?

I think it's pretty common to think things are black and white like that - because they are portrayed that way quite a lot. I'm more creatively inclined in that I like music, reading, art, baking etc. but I also like gaming (to the point that when I played online games I was very competitive). Growing up being a girl and going to an all girls school, I was seen as weird for liking games both online and offline.

These days I've even started to get into D&D, and I still have other fixations like my pets, and more recently aquariums. There's no end to what you're "allowed" to like and you don't HAVE to like certain things either. I'm really sorry that you're feeling low about this, but there are definitely people like you and people who will accept you for who you are - even though it really doesn't feel like it at times.

I like traditionally "girly" things, "nerdy" things and "boy" things. I'm just me, and it can be hard to feel ok with that, but I think it's better than the alternative - you know what you like, and I'm sure you'd rather have those things than not, right?

I used to like them when I was younger but was put off by the maintenance, but still always really wanted one when I'm in a better living situation because I find them very soothing as sensory things. The sound of the water, the fish movements etc.

I recently started learning about self sustaining ecosystems and the way they work, so its really interesting and I hope to set one up in future and do some aquascaping :) I also have a dog and ferrets, so animals in general are definitely one of my interests haha.

What kind of plushies do you like? I'm not a collector of them myself, but I recently got the Gengar & Pikachu squishmallows because I thought that they're cute and will make nice pillows.

Thats really helpful thank you. It sounds like we have been in the same boat a bit. It's really nice to meet someone who understands. 

I love aquariums btw, I'm hoping to buy one soon. Havnt had one since I was a kid. 

Goblin said:

I'm just me, and it can be hard to feel ok with that, but I think it's better than the alternative - you know what you like, and I'm sure you'd rather have those things than not, right?

That's very true