I have suicide thoughts- Help, can anyone relate

As you probably know, suicide is harder than it seems like it should be. You're much more likely to end up surviving with permanent health problems than succeeding in killing yourself, at least using the methods easily accessible in the UK. To me, that's the best argument against attempting. It's not worth it until there's a really terrible, unimaginable, unavoidable amount of suffering headed your way very soon, e.g. diagnosis of a painful and rapidly progressing illness. Until then, you might as well put it off and see if things get better, rather than making a failed attempt and having to live for decades with the consequences.

OAP - Older Autistic Person said:

Suicidal ideation is not uncommon amonst NT people. I think it's probably a response to the trauma of existing in a ND centred world.

I'm confused. Did you mean ND people and NT-centered world?

Also, Im happy you survived 

Suicidal ideation is not uncommon amonst NT people. I think it's probably a response to the trauma of existing in a ND centred world.

I've been there, and as a survivor I can say it DOES get better.

Reach out for help if you need to. No one should suffer in silence, or alone x

Hi Rose

Hang in there, it does get better.  Sometimes it gets worse again.  Then it gets better again.....

I have struggled for years, trying to find a reason and meaning for all of the hurt.  And a sense of purpose.  

It led me to consider the more spiritual side of life.  Not in a religious way, rather in a questioning way..... 

Slowly trust, faith, belief, hope have started to return.

We are all capable of this, and it is true that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!  

Samaritans are there to talk to, freephone 116123.  There are 500 people manning the phones at any one time.  If you don't click with one, then put the phone down and dial again.  They won't mind.

All the best to you, you can do this.  You've got your best moccasins on and you are walking your path.  Even when you are deep in the woods, the clearing is just ahead. xx

Sending virtual hugs!

I'm so sorry you suffer in this way. Mental health is just the worst. I suffer mentally, I've been suicidal on and off since 2016 - hardly surprising with the way of the world and life now, but I stick to the belief and thoughts that good things are on the horizon beyond those dark stormy clouds.

And importantly you are a lovely beautiful human being - we all are - and you are worth fighting for.

You deserve to be happy.

We're here for you if you need us.

I'm still suicidal and I have been since I was about 5 years old.

Hello NAS86499,

I’m sorry you have been through such a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know what’s happening/how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.  

 If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support. 

If it’s outside your GP hours call  111 to reach the NHS 111 service: 

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/ 

The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org. 

 MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.  

 If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support. 

You can find more information here: 

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide 

If you feel that you might need some support with your mental health, you can find advice and information on how to go about seeking help, including links to other resources and details of helplines and listening support services, here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/seeking-help. 

All the best,

ChloeMod

Thank you so much, and I am sorry that happened to you and you were so young. 

Love and light to you too.

Thank you, I'm, happy that your engaged.

Hi Rose 

My Father died when I was five. He also tried suicide before although he died in a shooting accident. 

Yes such things can have a severe impact on people.  If you are suicidal please seek help in any way you can both short and long term. Stuff from NHS to Samaritans. 

I would say that with time the effect on myself has eased. To the point that now I am hardly affected by it. 

Explore ways that help. Sometimes we can be affected in ways which need to be recognised, For example bereavement can lead some people to blaming themselves for situations and being left with severe lack of self esteem which is unjustified. That is just an example but whatever love and care for yourself. 

Love and light to you.

I'm so sorry you've had to go through so much. It's not surprising you're facing your own difficulties now. 

If you're feeling suicidal now or struggling then I do suggest Samaritans, they are very understanding and don't judge. I've spoken to them a lot and always feel better after.

I do suggest trying to get a therapist if you can. Talking therapy can be good for you. My therapist also emails as she knows I struggle with being social.

I've also been suicidal. My last attempt was in 2021. I now have a job and am engaged to be married - it can and does get better. X

Thank you so much, I needed that. Thank you for reminding me. Thank you

No, it's okay, we all have to open up about something that we can trust another with our deepest hurts and struggles. That is why we are all here to support one another.

Thank you, after the first time I had attempted, I have only thought of it and sometimes it comes in such strong waves, were I just want to do it but I think of the people that I would hurt so I don't do it. But I have been suffering in silence for awhile now. 

I can relate.. I've had a very hard childhood and adulthood. It seems like it's a life not worth living..it has been one long struggle with few nice moments in it.. I'm sorry that I'm saying this instead of giving you support.. I really hope that you'll get out of this struggle safe and stronger.. hold on there 

if you are actively thinking about carrying it out, I highly recommend you call the suicide hotline or emergency services rn.  If you tell me your city, I can look them up for you.  Otherwise, a quick google search will provide those numbers.  If not, it might be helpful to have them on hand just in case.

BTW, I recently came out of a 3-month suicidal episode because I ended a horribly abusive relationship.  I got real close.  I wanted to die but didn't want to hurt anyone, so I was trying to make it look like an accident.  However, I'm so happy I didn't right now.  If you're going through hell, keep going.  The pain is not forever, but death is.  Get some expert help from a therapist that understands you.  It's okay to go shopping around.  I've had therapists that made things worse.  Then, I found one that was an expert on narcissistic abuse and another that was autistic herself.  I feel like after years of therapy, I have hope that I will finally make major permanent improvements with the help of a therapist that is a great fit for me 

Also, this song was super helpful at the time: https://youtu.be/EGgowW6AOyw

I am going to therapy soon. Thank you for saying about the mental health support.