“Everyone is on the spectrum somewhere” Needs to stop being said!

I completely feel what you're going through. The best response to correct these others I've found is to quote Lacan mid last century, "Let me correct you. You mean, we're all a little Neurotic"

In these instances, it can be best to use the term NeuroDivergent, as diverging from the expected norm. While Diverse was originally found as a good phrase to help everyone understand brain-diversity exists, it's now really just a term to mean we're ALL a little different and personally I find it moves everyone back to zero at 'equal and different'. And it can be nearly impossible to try and tell Neurotic individuals "I'm different" and there's a psychoanalytic reason why.

Neurotic was the original term to describe Normal - or Typical. It wasn't a bad word. It implied this need for tribal connexion where one needs to belong to the extent they can be overly anxious about not fitting in. Even paranoid. Paranoid to the degree that Empathy is the lifeline to stay connected. And that connexion is more important than Truth. It was originally suggested that this is the reason one can 'filter out unwanted sense-perception', as part of maturing, an aspect of Sublimation. Essentially, the Typical brain will have the 'motherboard' and the correct frequency to receive free auto-downloads within society's current framework. These subliminal codes essentially write the 'rules' into one neural centre. From there, they can mask quickly, without thinking, and be rewarded by how they operate and 'fit in'. There's a frustrating part to this and here's how it affects us.

Essentially everyone masks. But the Neurotic gets a little reward-hit for it. A star. Because they're not guessing how to do it. They speak the same code. Unfortunately, it's a little too much of an Auto-operation and in Todays society, where individuality is more dominant than ever, where Adverts work because they know the Neurotic has difficulty dislodging themselves from what's Typical, there is a push for something that's uniquely Me. Mine. My latte, my way. My [insert store name], even My Covid and so on. Everyone needs their story. Everyone wants their voice to be heard. And simultaneously these everyones are being ghosted and stonewalled my major corporations and companies who are only looking to turn them into Data. It's a bit messed up.

I think most people feel this somewhere in the back of their head: They're automatically just going along with the crowd > Told to stand out be unique > stuck with 'codes' that won't allow them to be too unique > turned back into data by society, absorbed back into the crowd. So desperate to be 'authentic' and unique and seeing anyone else trying to be unique as a bit rebellious but believes it's all part of the programme.

That same Neurotic code literally involves attempting to fix a thing by intentionally misdirecting the problem. This is absolute chaos if you ask me and there's hundreds of years analysing this stuff! The neurotic brain has these hyper-focused and strengthened neural wires in areas responsible for language and signs (semiotics). So let's say someone has a problem with counting a till. The manager will reinforce they can do this by saying "I know you can do this, you just need to apply effort" and giving them a cookie. Let's suppose for the argument, they are perfectly typical, no added disabilities, that's the code they needed. Nothing to do with math. Just a type of hypnosis. 

Where I find this leaves me is 1. Having to really thoughtfully process and research before having a discussion with someone because I cannot do it as a flash improv, so booking an appointment. 2. Appealing to hard ethics. The only place I've found we can all agree is when I manage to explain the system behind a problem with communication (let's say) and why it matters and doesn't work. I can't read minds, for example. 

Throughout my 20's I was let go from so many jobs for being autistic - only I didn't know. I didn't know I had such incredible problems with language and couldn't assess vocabulary. I didn't know I wasn't fitting in and couldn't mind read or what others meant when they expressed I was too out-of-the-box. I didn't know I was breaking down daily, overwhelmed... isn't everyone just trying to keep afloat? I didn't know I was sense-perceiving beyond what others had dulled their senses to or accidentally saying what no one else would say and that there was a reason no one was going to say it. 

Being Autistic isn't like having a toothache or having a tumour or having an extra set of toys. It's simply a different type of human BE-ing. It's a difference like Right brained thinking vs Left which everyone seems to be OK with, only the fundamental differences create a moral problem in modern society. They didn't always. But this is the key to find in order to fight back. Some friends of mine have been ok with my explaining that it 'turns out I'm on the spectrum" - a few have said, oh, that makes sense (because they only understand the term Spectrum while Autistic for them equates with Downs). The process to understanding this is seemingly a Really Massive Undertaking for the world. There are a few reasons but one of the worst is because the Neurotic believes it's just an 'excuse'.  this woman talks a lot about these problems with possibly more clarity than I can :) https://www.instagram.com/thearticulateautistic/

*didn't mean to be so long. But I feel a deep sense of injustice with this.

Technically, it is a little more specific and I love your philosophical point. Can or cannot dull senses to filter out unwanted noise. Can or cannot read between the lines. These 2 functions are actually quite different. There's nothing abnormal though, as we need both types of humans, just one is a mismatch in modern society. 

YES absolutely!! I was going to add into my article that it’s like saying “a person with no legs has the same difficulties as a dwarfed person” . But I took it out, just in case somebody would be offended.

Yup, I hate that too. The other day I told someone I was autistic, and after asking me a few questions, they started saying ‘I don’t like that either’, or ‘what else, so I can see if my daughter is as well’, ‘oh, perhaps I’m a bit autistic’. Ugh! She is definitely not, neither is her daughter, and certainly not ND. I just ended up excusing myself. I couldn’t listen any longer. I felt like me sharing one small bit of into lead me to feel as if I’m not very affected by being Autistic, and that I am simply a bit anxious with a label….!

Fantastically put.

Well said.

That is one of the 'how to make an autistic person angry in six words or less?' phrases 

It is helpful to think of the autistic spectrum as a spiky profile, rather than linear as many people tend to.

https://www.employmentautism.org.uk/blog/the-autism-spectrum-as-a-spiky-profile

There are specific differences in autistic brains which mean we can become overwhelmed much of the time. The scientific research in this area is fascinating. I recently came across this article and video about sensory processing differences in autistic brains.

https://www.autism.org/brain-sensory-processing-differences/

philosophically speaking this is true of almost any continuum. lets take hight as an example. Where does being short end and being a (in the medical sense) dwarf begin? Statistically you might say. Well look everyones hight is clustered around a certain value so lets look at the shortest 15%, or 10% or what ever but how do you arrive at that number? Imagine a histogram, If there is a second mini cluster of values you could look for the valley between them and put the divider in the middle of that valley? But what if there isn't.

In reality dwarfism is more about function than statistics. Below a certain hight it's just a pain to function in a world build for taller people. You can still argue about how dysfunctional is too dysfunctional but if you map hight vs disfunction on a graph chances are there is a steep drop off on the left of where most people cluster. That drop off is your obvious cut off point for dwarfism.

So the same principal applys to autism. Lets imagine a graph with a y axis labeled social function and an x axis labeled social abnormality. As you graph that out most people are close to zero on the x axis and high on the y axis. as you go right the number of people dips but so does the average social function which basically falls of a cliff after a certain point. That steep dip, thats the logical place to say autism begins. Yes its a continuum but in another way no it's not.

Same people that respond to movements such as "Black Lives Matter" by saying "All Lives Matter".. which has ALWAYS annoyed me, as they are completely missing the point!

Yes all lives matter and yes all people are different "to an extent" but it doesn't mean that all differences are the same.

Completely agree with you.. privileged people can't see any difference where they don't come out on top so they don't try!

I agree.  I started a similar thread previously and then decided to be open at work.  I recently posted a blog for work which is a bit long to post here but I ended it with this:

My ask though would be if someone tells you they’re autistic, don’t say “everyone’s a little bit autistic”, “we’re all on the spectrum”, “you don’t look autistic”, “is it because you’re older”, you may mean well, but for that person those autistic traits have a significant impact on their life, so please listen to them and try to hear their lived in experience.

I think also that anyone who's reached the point of 'I must know' has suffered more from their environment to the point of being ready to lose their mind if some reason isn't supplied. Whereas most of  the 'we're all...' crowd will likely never likely get to that place of 'I must know'. Because there's nothing *to* know - they really are 'just' on the fuzzy border and not debilitated in any remotely comparable way.  

Well said. I've come to understand that there is the vast neurotypical majority, then there is a short bridge/fuzzy interzone called 'on the spectrum' (or the beginnings of that), but to which no formal autistic diagnosis would ever be attached. And then there is the formal autistic spectrum, firmly on the other side of the bridge. I think a lot of people with one foot lightly on the bridge, and another hevily in 'NT land' habitually use this 'ah sure we're all.... I mean look at me...' type of phraseology and it (mostly accidentally) demeans and insults someone much more disabled by the NT environments that both are simultaneously experiencing when these sorts of exchanges occur. It is certainly frustrating, and can very much trigger imposter syndrome feelings or 'do they think I'm just trying to be special?' worries. All we can do is educate about the 'bridge' and see if the penny drops.

For me, that concept can sometimes even be felt without it being overtly said, as I work in an environment (a library) that tends to attract more introverted and neurodiverse people to its workforce. So there are genuinely more instances of the 'on the bridge' factor than there might be in any other societal cross-section. And I imagine a couple of other people in my building who would get a diagnosis (or an adjacent one - eg. ADHD) if they sought one. So I do sometimes end up in this depressed state of 'well, they're a little 'odd' themselves and still have fuctioned much better in more demanding roles' etc. But in a way, that's what tells me all I need t know. They're swimming along mostly with ease in their 'oddness', not getting mired in exhaustion and overwhelm at the slightest blip in established routine.