Camouflaging or Masking.. to do or not to do and why

The Jungian "Mask" is essentially NT encoded (if the brain were to receive code like a computer, NTs would get this free auto-download of how to behave in society). As Jung talks of the collective unconscious, this term is something he created for what was discovered: a socially acceptable "mask" which hides the individual who is actually disintegrating (I think of particles) into a whole collective. That's the Mask - the Persona. Then there's the autistic who isn't quite doing this but trying to mimic it without realising the complexity of what's happening on a deeper level. The NT is rewarded for their mask. Ours might look like a science or art project (if we create an analogy).

Then there is another way of being within the world around, and I think your description of it works perfectly: The use of Awareness. One can use this however they wish, but we still have to understand everyone has a right to respond how they wish - we cannot control others, but self-control is a virtue. I think of it in several ways: curating my self and try to be as responsible as I can for how I affect others. But this happens by first caring for the self, understanding my values and learning to integrate my words (though sometimes they're inaccessible), actions with my deeper desires. But I also appreciate good manners and small matters of kindness and then finding the deeper truths below what I think is true. Perhaps on the surface I don't want to share. Some days I don't. But on another level I want connexion. And to connect requires a sort of sharing.

I think it's important to recognise the vulnerable raw self isn't always presentable. I don't want to be remembered as someone who just does and says what she likes at the cost of another or at the expense of another. To me, that is a modern behaviour and 'value' (if we can call it that) which is also driving the NT demand others 'read my mind' and unreasonable expectations which constitute a misunderstanding of the term "Empathy", turning someone's boundary, or lack of desire to be abused into a Moral issue. 

It's OK to keep the self hidden. Another thought here is to examine my Role and Responsibly. My friends accept I might accidentally info-dump. Simultaneously I try to remember it's a bit greedy to take up all the air in the room and catch myself and try to with hold an overload of info simply out of respect for others time. Unless they've become engrossed. 

One of the most expensive Arts Schools in the US has a policy: You're not allowed to perform while you're a work in progress - while you're studying. And I think that's OK. There's a reason for the Dark Room where film develops. 

I would focus less on whether one is or isn't camouflaging or making and begin to learn how to become an integrated self. That makes everything easier. 

Good to know.  This has happened to a few of us recently too.  It might be worth sending a note to the community manager.  There are some evident "changes" afoot at the moment.

I'm not rewriting it! In a nutshell...

High masker and accepting of that for work and social events to give me things I need in life like social interactions. Its still engrained even when im trying not to. It's not as beneficial as I thought it was. (Post diagnosis I was all "oh but it's part of who I am! I'm happy with it!) It's only now 2 years after diagnosis  I'm realising the detriment to health. Its exhausting and is reason for some of my burnout. I'm mid 30s, female. I think a big chunk links to my perceived ideas of other people's expectations of me. This could be at the micro level in terms of tone of voice in a conversation but also macro in terms of life choices.

I recommend this kieran rose video it's long but informative m.youtube.com/watch

I am very sorry!

Should I be worried about the long reply with profanity until you are able to rewrite it?

I've just typed a really long reply and its disappeared. I tried to remove the profanity in an edit but the whole post has gone. 

Must say that this is impressive!

A super poker face where your opponents can not guess or read what you might be thinking or feeling is brilliant!

Although if your default is "robotic" then how is your masking effective without too much thought/effort put in displaying certain emotions to match your masked narrative?

dead, seemingly emotionless, cold, straight expressionless faced. super poker face lol

no one can tell what i feel and often guess wrong. no one can tell when im mad or sad. but its automatic, no effort, just is what it is, although i guess i feel the effort when pressured such as when the job center tries to bully you and threaten you with jail for nothing lol or when my boss shouts in my face after wanting to go home after 16 hour shift. 

What do you mean by "robotic"?

Being focused, logical but not emotional and irrational?

I also separate work and personal life very clearly but I have always thought that was the norm as you can move jobs but not family in the same sense so I never understood why work people wanted to get involved with my personal life!

I thought it meant that I am a private person but I am not actually sure why I do it tbh!

I don't mask/camoflage anywhere it is not absolutely essential to do so, there are areas where first impressions will count and the people you have to deal with may decide to discriminate against us anyway despite laws saying that they cannot do that. So I save my energy for masking for things like interviews/meetings, or walking home at night, where to be singled out on anything is to be placed in an extra level of vulnerability.
The plus side of that is it is much more maintainable and people I meet in non-professional or social settings very quickly get brought up to speed and used to the real me. Arguably even non autistic people have a at-work-mask to some degree it's just the intensitiy of which we have to do it as autists that stands out. I also make a point of never socialising with collegues outside of work, because the key to keeping those aspects of my life separate is like being a good magician, never reavealing how the trick works, so I will just politely decline invites out, usually the reasons I give are not far from the truth either, which saves the trouble of making up a lie. I can say I'm too busy and have stuff to do. They don't need to know that that stuff is water my plants and watch Netflix haha.

i dont find it exhausting... although i maybe disconnected from my feelings of exhaustion as i can often go on and on and only need a short stop to carry on while everyone else seems to be as soon as they are tired they need sleep, i can go on just by having a slight pause and have full energy back.

anyways any masking i feel is automatic. my default is robotic and i wont share likes or dislikes... if a person wants to pry into my hobbies i will appear as if i dont have any interests or hobbies... perhaps because at school anything you liked you immediately got mocked for liking that thing so i guess i picked that bland robotic no preference in anything mask as a response of that. and when i get confortable i go from robotic straight and serious and not there kinda person to a person that jokes about everything to then a person thats a bit weird and clownish and is never serious.

but theres no exhaustion for me. although as i said i perhaps am too fit to feel exhausted.