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Melt downs

NAS70431

TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

How do you deal with the guilt, depression, even suicidal thoughts post melt down. Can't stop thinking my partner and baby don't deserve a mother who melt downs like this. Especially on big occasions . (Today I melted down in the night after his 1st birthday, so many peoples, big change of routine and some nastiness from the mother in law) 

But I get this guilt like I don't want tocwake up and go back to 'normal' after this massive emotional experience for me. Its so painful 

  • Hi, sorry you feel so bad at the moment. I'm about to go into a big meltdown because of so many changes going on. The thoughts will pass, even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't concentrate on you (and your son). 

    I used to take mine to a sensory room when I felt like this and just bask in the calm. Maybe that's something you can try? 

    Please remember to take care of you too.

  • in reply to Desmond79

    In my experience, those inflatorers can have cigar plugs that only work in some car cigar sockets - if it isn't working for you, I suspect that will be the problem  They can be fickle things.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    It's technology biting the hand it once fed me with. 

  • in reply to Desmond79

    Bummer.  I hope you manage some restful kip at your earliest convenience.

  • I am having an overload. No sleep tonight, and I drove to town, to get a tyre inflator at a 24 hour shop; which I didn't know how to use. In the end, the local breakdown man will air her for me, later. 

  • in reply to Deleted User
    Unknown said:
    Congratulations on achieving a successful 12 months of parenting - they get a cake, but you deserve a medal.

  • Hello 70431.  I am Number.

    You are right.  It can be extremely painful.  It can be hard to know how we can carry on.  But we do.  We must.  We want to, but we just struggle to understand how.  I still don't know how we do it - but we do.  You will.  You know this.  It is actually OK.  Congratulations on achieving a successful 12 months of parenting - they get a cake, but you deserve a medal.  Stay calm.  Allow yourself permission to feel how you do.  The world keeps spinning and so do you.

    Stick around these pages - strength can be drawn from here.

    Welcome.

  • Hi, I’m sorry you are feeling low at the moment, I find my own birthday one of the worst days of the year, the day has no routine and too many expectations are made of you on the day.  It was your sons first birthday, so a lot of expectations from all. I think you did well to contain yourself and meltdown afterwards. Your In laws are a  different generation, they often don’t understand autism, it’s the lifelong remarks from people as being rude or not really trying, it starts to grate in the end. Just don’t beat yourself up, your partner obviously knows you are autistic, we sometimes need either leaving alone or support, it is a bit of a minefield for our partners. Just remember you are autistic and the official report at diagnosis states,”requires support,” you did really well in dealing with such a big day. Not being patronising, chin up.