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Melt downs

NAS70431

TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

How do you deal with the guilt, depression, even suicidal thoughts post melt down. Can't stop thinking my partner and baby don't deserve a mother who melt downs like this. Especially on big occasions . (Today I melted down in the night after his 1st birthday, so many peoples, big change of routine and some nastiness from the mother in law) 

But I get this guilt like I don't want tocwake up and go back to 'normal' after this massive emotional experience for me. Its so painful 

Parents

  • Hi, I’m sorry you are feeling low at the moment, I find my own birthday one of the worst days of the year, the day has no routine and too many expectations are made of you on the day.  It was your sons first birthday, so a lot of expectations from all. I think you did well to contain yourself and meltdown afterwards. Your In laws are a  different generation, they often don’t understand autism, it’s the lifelong remarks from people as being rude or not really trying, it starts to grate in the end. Just don’t beat yourself up, your partner obviously knows you are autistic, we sometimes need either leaving alone or support, it is a bit of a minefield for our partners. Just remember you are autistic and the official report at diagnosis states,”requires support,” you did really well in dealing with such a big day. Not being patronising, chin up.

Reply

  • Hi, I’m sorry you are feeling low at the moment, I find my own birthday one of the worst days of the year, the day has no routine and too many expectations are made of you on the day.  It was your sons first birthday, so a lot of expectations from all. I think you did well to contain yourself and meltdown afterwards. Your In laws are a  different generation, they often don’t understand autism, it’s the lifelong remarks from people as being rude or not really trying, it starts to grate in the end. Just don’t beat yourself up, your partner obviously knows you are autistic, we sometimes need either leaving alone or support, it is a bit of a minefield for our partners. Just remember you are autistic and the official report at diagnosis states,”requires support,” you did really well in dealing with such a big day. Not being patronising, chin up.

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