why need a diagnosis

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The diagnostic would help with communication. But you don't have to get it. I feel wthat if I end up in care, I'd rather it be recognised than not. But that autistic traits are just differences in inclinations and things one cannot switch on and off, we would not have been a mismatch for society 100 years ago. Specific individuals with added disabilities might, but under the current model the majority of social milieu is largely based on a type of communication autistics don't send/receive. This causes moral judgements and mostly due to modern values in most social spheres.

For added sensory issues, a charity like lightaware.org may be a good shout.

Hi,

It is up to you whether to have a diagnosis like Alice said and it can be a long, frustrating process.

I am recently diagnosed and for me, it was the right thing to do as I needed to know the underlying cause of the stress I've had through my life and whether there were practical things I could do about it.  I can recognise 4 times in my life I've had major burnout and now I understand why.  I've been told in the past that I can take too long to reflect on decisions or that I ask difficult and challenging questions.  I now realise that this is part of how my brain is wired and that if I don't do this or try to just go along with things that it will cause me sleepless nights whilst I think about all the permutations and have no outlet to say what I think.

In the last couple of years I had a job interview where the feedback was that I talked too long about one thing and didn't mention risk (there was nothing in the question about risk, I was supposed to infer it).  I also applied to a leadership programme designed to help underrepresented people get to higher positions - they made me do a test that I knew I would fail.  I did - on communicating and influencing, the exact thing I wanted help with.  The test at the top said answer openly and honestly as to what you would do, so I had no choice but to do that, even where I could see they probably wanted another answer.

On both of these, there was a box to tick about whether you needed any adaptations - I didn't tick it, but I think post diagnosis I would to ask things like whether they can give me an interview question written down or on the leadership one to say that I am looking for help on communicating and influencing.  I don't want to use my autism as an excuse or to be seen as getting special treatment, but I would like not to be disadvantaged by it, if that makes sense.

I'd be tempted to write a list of pros and cons personal to you about being diagnosed if you think it would help, but don't stress about it if it doesn't.  In the meantime there might be things that are recommended for autism or ADHD that would help you anyway whether diagnosed or not, so that you don't feel so stressed.  It's not medication but adjustments for things like how you shop or giving yourself a break.  If there was medication I'm not sure I would take it anyways, I don't want fixing, I just want to be loved and understood .

Take care, Joe

Alice said:

I think diagnosis is good for neuro diversity in general, the more people registered with a neuro difference, the more funding and research and answers there should be. I also understand that the label is important for some, as it gives power and confidence to a group who are often treated badly by others and provides belonging to those who traditionally don't belong.

These, I think, are tremendously important points. Autism, and other factors, often leads us to intensely focus on ourselves; and so this wider picture you've described is important to bear in mind, and should be encouraged. My writing is too often clumsy but I hope the OP, you and others will understand what I mean.

I have only recently been diagnosed with Autism and I am 62. Obviously I am not sure what your daily struggles are and how a diagnosis would help you personally. For me though I found it was a great relief to be able to understand that there was a reason why I struggled with some things that most people didn’t. I had labelled myself as stupid, lazy, not a nice person. To know that I am none of these things but instead have a condition that causes me to struggle, over react, melt down and want to dissapear has been a big relief for me. It has led me to finding out how other people cope and trying some of their methods. It has led me to not feeling quite so alone.

on a practical point, in some areas of life people have to make allowances for you and treat you differently, I’m talking professional people such as teachers, employers, doctors etc. They will realise that your needs are different and so you should get help which is better for you.

You could also carry some sort of identification such as the Hidden Disabilities card which declares you are autistic and allowances can be made and help offered other than people around you just judging you.

When it comes to your doctor, maybe if you have someone with you at appointments who can listen for you and explain what you are finding hard to understand. Someone you could discuss your worries with who then could explain them to the doctor if you are having a hard time doing that. If your doctor thinks you may have autism he will understand that you may be struggling with information overload. It is your right to have help during an appointment.

Please do your best to find out as much as you can about both autism and ADHD and how people are affected and what they do to cope with it. My daughter is only 25 and was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago and has found lots of really helpful information on various social media platforms.

I hope everything works out well for you. You do what you think is best for you. It is your life, your body, your health. Waiting is not a fun game but I’m glad I waited as I now feel a little better and am at last making sense of my life. I hope you manage to work things out.

Hey there,

I'm sorry that you feel like diagnosis wouldn't be worth the stress, it's true that there currently isn't medication for autism (something I believe is right as neuro divergence is not an illness).

Why be diagnosed? Well, I think the answer to that question differs between people, some people go through it and others don't, it's a personal decision. I think diagnosis is good for neuro diversity in general, the more people registered with a neuro difference, the more funding and research and answers there should be. I also understand that the label is important for some, as it gives power and confidence to a group who are often treated badly by others and provides belonging to those who traditionally don't belong.

You don't have to go through diagnosis if you don't want to, it's completely up to you. If your doctor thinks it might be helpful to you, I imagine they have reasons for their opinion but you can say no if you disagree.

I hope that it gets less stressful for you.