Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, please excuse my bumbling nonsense, I find it hard to get my words out. I just feel like no one understands meI’m in my 30s and feel I have undiagnosed asd, even my family agree yet didn’t get me assessed as it was seen as shame on my family. im really struggling as a single parent and not sure how to restart my love life. I hate physical contact and I’m very unsocial so haven’t had much luck. I can’t do small talk and have found others don’t like my bluntness/ telling it as it is. What do I do and where do I go? I don’t want my kids growing up thinking their mum was a failure in life
I'm a single parent too, so I understand how much of a struggle it can be. I feel I am ill-equipped to advise you on how to restart your love life, but one thing I do want to say is that I think it's unlikely your children will grow up thinking you have been a failure in life.
I agree.
Me and my 3 sisters were begging our mom to leave 'dad'. We would rather have one parent
Still she was good mom, we made it to adulthood, without switching to dark side
but trauma from watching them fight will be with me forever
Sorry to hear that Mariusz. Glad you didn't switch to the 'dark side' though!
I did not know that one
Sure Mariusz - and thanks for telling your story. There's a proverb - "Troubles overcome are good to tell."
It was close, and there is no coming back
When I was 14y.o. and my mom being christian unwilling to leave my 'dad', who was not working at all for years, instead he was borrowing money wherever he could and drinking all the time, coming back home drunk and agressive and beting mom and one of us at least everyday, mom was paying off his debts, after lots of thinking about cons and pros I made a decision to do my 'dad' like a carp just before christmas, so I could dispose of him easily, pretending it's leftovers of a just killed carp, even if meant to be a sacrifice for the good of my family and ending up in jail. But I couldn't. All I managed was to knock him to the floor and breaking a broom in a process, and he was laughing in my face, probably thinking I just took first step to end up like him. Month later I tried seppuku for the first time instead, that did not work either.
But don't be sorry for me, it's a learning curve, to live on this planet now, by trial and error we learn and perservere.