Sunday Syndrome, the worry of Monday.

I'm hoping to get some better noise cancelling headphones in the upcoming Black Friday sales. However I've researched so many that I've got information overload and even more confused about which ones to buy 

Would you recommend the ones you have?

Roy,

"The long dark teatime of the soul" is how Douglas Adams describes a certain Sunday afternoon feeling in his book 'Life the Universe and everything.'   I think it's similar to what you describe.  I certainly remember those Sundays from when I was at school and throughout most of my working life.

The phrase is now entered in the Urban Dictionary......

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=long%20dark%20teatime%20of%20the%20soul

Ben

Routine is something that baffles me. I struggle to keep a good routine something normally mucks it up. 

Hi, I’m finding noise hard to tolerate. My wife is quite a noisy person in the mornings. The kitchen radio will be on and the tv. She likes to whistle as well. I just want to scream sometimes and throw the radio out the door. I can’t process all the different noises. It’s the same in our village pub, as it gets busier up to Christmas, larger  groups start talking over each other and get louder and louder. I can hear all their conversations all at once Scented candles are put on the bar which are overwhelming.   I don’t really cope well with Christmas.

In the mornings I pop my noise cancelling ear phones on and listen to an audiobook. Today has been nice, just me, the dog and quiet. I’m still trying to make sense of childhood memories. I think we had to bury them so we could put more energy into creating and maintaining the person that everyone else  expected us to be.  School is still something that I’m working on, PrImary school was okay, everything after that was just violent. I have stopped masking a lot at home now, I’m less willing to accept situations that aren’t suitable for me.

I'm sorry to hear you missed out on your planned holiday. I had a holiday booked earlier in the year. As it got closer to departure date I was becoming more and more convinced that I wouldn't be able to to cope with the people and noise. In the end it was cancelled for reasons out of my control.

I know what you mean about seeming to become more autistic. I feel like that as I get older and I'm sure my noise sensitivity is getting worse. It could of course be a symptom of autistic burnout or just a side effect of unmasking.  A quiet time at home might do a lot more good than an overwhelming noisy hotel.

Do you think it might have something to do with resurfaced memories of the noisy school canteen? I know that during my autism assessment and subsequently I dredged up a lot of old memories that had been well buried for many years.

I hope you have a lovely Monday x

Yes the whole "I don't have much to stress sbout" is certainly the case too. I find meditation helps slow things down a bit and gives just a little bit of space in thr head. But it needs to be done regularly 

I understand the feeling of a fool, as an adult,  there's sometimes a sense of "I should be able to cope with this...everyone else does". The thing that I find helps now in any situation is giving oneself time to acclimatise. I did it today....it took ages but once I had settled I was ok. I don't think it's that we become more autistic, it's just after masking for so long, unawares, now we are aware of when things happen or what sets us off and we can put a name to things . I think the positive thing to come out of it is that we can now give ourselves some grace. For me and it seems similar for you, now it's like we just have less bandwidth because we finally cracked and like you say our brains cannot hide anymore. This isn't a bad thing because maybe now we are being a bit more authentic.

I think your right, when I had my big meltdown it was about 2 months after realising that I’m autistic. My brain had gone into overdrive trying to process 50 + years of  thinking that I was the only person who functions like me, I still find it really strange that there are so many people like me.

I should have gone with my wife today to one of the Canary Islands, she has had to go with my mother. I went to the same hotel in February and it was a struggle. It is an all inclusive hotel, I had a meltdown in the restaurant and felt like a fool afterwards. I walked in and there was a strong smell of garlic, people were talking and plates clattering, I couldn’t find a food that I could eat or tolerate. It was all of a sudden as if the walls were closing  in on me. It’s as if in the last year I’ve become more autistic, I know that’s not a correct thing to say. It’s like my brain is not willing to hide anymore. I’m sure I will get a handle on it all, it’s just been a lot to process.

I remember a movie, I think it was called Click, where the main character had this magic remote control for his life. He kept hitting fast forward, which I found strange, so not what I would do. Some bits maybe rewind. But I think the main thing I would hit would be pause!

I found the first lockdown to be a bit like pause and it was nice. But now I don't know how to unpause some things! I seem to have shut down down some areas of my life and cannot get unblocked. Not all, but I do have a concern that I could shut those down too!

Sounds like a lot of us are like this. I don't even have loads of stressful stuff to pause. Maybe the anxiety is partly brain chemistry. Of course it is worse when there is actually something to dread though!

Roy said:

the feeling physically sick in the mornings is the worst part.

Yes I would get that a lot. If the normal anxiety was combined with an extra demand that day, (such as an exam, a meeting or even a PE lesson at school) then that was enough to escalate feeling sick into actually being sick 

Roy said:

Autistic people tend to be very intelligent and logical people, I can’t work out why anxiety is so prevalent in many of us.

I've struggled so much with it my whole life and sadly this is an area where so much more research is needed. I have my own theories and may do a post about it one day. 

In terms of Mondays I believe it is about having to go back into an environment where we know from past experience that we will likely experience overwhelming social demands and sensory overloads. Plus the added stress of the change in routine from the weekend and the uncertainty of what is going to happen.

This kind of fear can't be erased by CBT techniques because the fears are very real, based upon what has happened before and is almost certain to happen again.

Traditional exposure therapy for anxiety is not going to work when the fears are sensory in nature. The more an autistic person is exposed to their sensory triggers, the more they are going to experience sensory overload, triggering more frequent meltdowns and ultimately burnout. Repeated exposure actually increases anxiety not decreases it.

Although my dad wasn't autistic, he experienced something similar to what you're experiencing before he retired. In his case, it was because he was in a job that he hated. He'd had enough and would feel sick at the prospect of going to work. During the 12 months leading up to his retirement, I can remember him ticking the days off on his calendar.

Roy do you think you might be experiencing burnout? Some of the things you say chime with me in a period a few years ago that I now recognise as burnout and am probably still recovering from.

It's also wanting to just give your brain a rest too.

It’s wanting to get off the merry go round but it won’t stop.

Your final paragraph about what your mother told you makes perfect sense to me, and I'm sure it will to others too... The feeling of just wanting it all to stop.

Thank you for your kind messages, the feeling physically sick in the mornings is the worst part. Autistic people tend to be very intelligent and logical people, I can’t work out why anxiety is so prevalent in many of us. 
I had a massive meltdown about a year ago and had a headache afterwards for days, I thought I had actually damaged my brain. Since then I have been constantly tired and have no interest in anything. To be honest working 4 days a week is as much as I can cope with. I have loved working on classic cars since I was a child, I look at them at work and have no interest. Some days I stop talking completely and don’t eat.

I spoke to my mother a few weeks ago, through my childhood she tried to commit suicide on many occasions. She said for the first time that she didn’t want to die, she just wanted it all to stop. Don’t worry I’m not going to kill myself but I can now understand where she is coming from if that makes sense.

I too have suffered from Sunday Syndrome throughout my years of school and work. Since I had to give up working it has gradually eased. 

Not working on Mondays sounds like a good plan for you. I think the brain can adjust to no longer fear Mondays but it will take time.

Yes I always wondered why every or most mornings I'd feel sick. Even after having had CBT, I'd go over in my mind that there would actually be no problems that day, and if they would, they'd be minor and I could sort them out, that I still felt uneasy. Then I came to the conclusion if I'm going out to work that means being around people or being out the house which means uncertainty. I've been like this since primary school. 

I haven't had a job interview for years but similarly with CBT, I understand and *get* the theory but it doesn't always work. 

Any day is uncertainty, for me; even though I have certain hard commitments.

I could never handle an interview; in spite of all the Interview Skills, in the World. The Theory, I know, but real life means me freezing.