Scopophobia

I think theres a presumption of consent for all sorts of things these days, the old chestnut of "if you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear" i rubbish, you can still be found by people you no longer want to know. People can be so persistant in tracking you down, it's like they feel they have a right to hassle you or know where you are, I wonder what goes on in the heads of such people?

You know my pet peeve is assumed consent by youtube ect that its ok for someone to be in a video it's too easy for anyone to upload anything these days 

I have  no phobias linked to it but I do live a private life and if theres people I no longer want in my life o also dont want them to know the place I attend because it fills me with a fear they might try come see me or something 

I hate my photograph being taken, I can understand why peoples have felt like part of their soul has been stolen, it's me but not me, something essential is missing, I look at photo's of me as a child and don't recognise myself even though logically I know it's me. Being video'd and recorded is another big no no, I do not consent, especially when it's posted online by someone else on social media and I'm tagged. 

Your son hates photos and videos of himself that should be respected for all but the important things like passports. Another thing that people don't think of when diseminating photo's of others, is if they're inadvertantly putting someone in danger, a stalker, a violent ex, someone might be a child protection officer or something like that and having thier photo on social media could compromise them professionally as well as compromise their safety.

Things like this is why I hate the whole culture of "it's a public place you have a right to film or shoot photos"

A if someone looks uncomfortable explain what your doing  and why 

B respect their wishes ... I'm all good with street photography but that said I'm not happy with the picture bring online 

C be respectful of the place you are in .. whilst public photography isnt illegal filming or photographing in say a video game arcade isnt in my opinion suitable 

As for having a phobia of appearing in photos it's well known many people dislike photos of them but a phobia would be the dislike going beyond a dislike and more of a fear and dread 

Could it be worth signing something legally binding at school that says you DO NOT wish to have photos taken?

As someone who has dealt with this issue for over 50 years, let me tell you this: stop taking pictures of your child. Stop asking him to be on camera. Find another school. Find another way. Take him at his word. He will never change. It will never feel different for him. All you will do is get some compliance from him, harm him, and destroy his relationship to you and to the world. Stop now.

Indeed! It is just the closest typical emotion I could think off, a major problem when trying to define emotions in autistic people I understand. I need a new emotional dictionnary!

Just to add he learnt how to play 10 pins bowling watching videos of professional and launched his first real ball in a bowling like a pro.. without any practice before.. just by watching this video over and over again. Do you have something similar?

Thank you!!! I'll dig into this! I have heard from Donna Williams before but not on this topic! 

Autonomistic said:

I suspect the 'future' comment relates to the unwanted attention of being shown or having other people look at that photo in the future.

That definately makes sense knowing him!

Autonomistic said:

Does your son have a camera himself? If not it may be worth getting one for him. I do like taking photos and nearly always have my camera with me. However I usually try to avoid having any people in my photos. I am more inspired by landscapes and patterns in objects.

He has but prefers to use the camera of his tablet, he takes screenshots of screenshots of screeshots until it fills the picture with small subpictures so tiny it becomes a grain and uses video mode with filter as a scanning machine etc.. all experiments but nothing alive on it ever.

Number said:

May I ask what your son's viewing habits are in terms of TV and video ie does he watch the same sort of thing or the identical thing over and over?

Yes he does! TechRax teaches him all about his favourite things, thank to what he can spot an Iphone 13 Pro whatever miles away.. As for TV he doesn't like it much, no cartoons whatsoever but he sometimes get interested in some piece of documentary or news I am watching when it deals with planes, trains, Tesla cars or something that raises his interests and meteo of course. No fast movies, no strong noise, no disturbing news image but I am also not a fan of them so we agree on what can be watched or not and switch off on demand.  

I am a outwardly confident mature white male with nothing to hide nor to be ashamed of.  I have a very profound objection to being photographed in the majority of situations that nowadays seem to require it.  Some people think I am cantankerous, others must think I have something to hide.  Neither of these on my reason and nor do I fear the loss of part of my soul.

I often need to pause a TV show or video " to just take a moment" because I feel somewhat overwhelmed by aome aspect of what I am watching and hearing.  I think it happens when I start thinking about out a concept that has been raised my mind unexpectedly.

May I ask what your son's viewing habits are in terms of TV and video ie does he watch the same sort of thing or the identical thing over and over?

I seem to have similar behaviours to your son although mine are better suppressed or milder.  I wonder if we are driven to these behaviours for the same reasons.... hence why I asked about his habit with TV/video.

Autonomistic said:

It can be summarised as an extreme and overwhelming form of self consciousness. 

Thanks for that.

It puts another thing I've suffered from throughout my life into context.

The accompanying blushing has had a major impact on my life as it's been another factor in me avoiding social situations, studying and applying for jobs etc.

This is something that I have experienced my entire life.

As a child I would scream and cry and have meltdowns if anyone tried to take my photo. Early photos show me either crying, hiding behind my mum or disappearing out of the picture.

As an adult there are very few photos of me. If I do have my photo taken I try and stay as far away from the camera as possible, so that my image is a tiny dot. I would never dream of uploading any photos of myself online. If I am on a video call I prefer to have my camera off or at least not to have to look at myself on the screen.

The reasons behind this are hard to explain. I believe it is an intense dislike of being observed and not necessarily a phobia.

Does your son have a camera himself? If not it may be worth getting one for him. I do like taking photos and nearly always have my camera with me. However I usually try to avoid having any people in my photos. I am more inspired by landscapes and patterns in objects.

I suspect the 'future' comment relates to the unwanted attention of being shown or having other people look at that photo in the future.

It may be worth you researching more about autistic exposure anxiety. Exposure anxiety was identified by Donna Williams, an autistic author who wrote "Exposure Anxiety: The Invisible Cage" in 2002. It can be summarised as an extreme and overwhelming form of self consciousness. 

Even though the book was written 20 years ago there is very little online about it. Googling the term just brings up lots of results about 'Exposure Therapy' for anxiety, which is completely different. Aucademy did a video on the topic a few months ago https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-ma_UG3f2U

Debbie said:

I find being looked at intense and overwhelming and I never know what the other person is thinking.

I see the first part in my son, as for the second he only cares if I become angry but as for what others think, he is not there yet. Thank you so much! I have a new vision to go forward.

Annie said:

Is it the same people feel when being watched by others in real life? I see his sense of what I call shame is very different from typical shame.

Not shame or similar in being watched by others.

If you look at 2 of the 'triad of impairments' in Autism

'Language and communication: difficulties in recognising and understanding verbal and non-verbal language, such as gestures, facial expressions and tone of voice'.

Social Emotion: difficulties with recognising and understanding other people's feelings and managing their own.

I wonder if this fits into that?

I find being looked at intense and overwhelming and I never know what the other person is thinking.

It's part of social communication difficulties I think.

However, personally, the photography thing is different and not related to the above.

No.  It's not the same.

I hate being looked at but part of that is because I am so self-conscious.

I always did, and still do at 60, blush easily.

There is no 'shame' in not wanting to be looked at and photographed, by-the-way.

Very interesting this "it takes something from you". Is it the same people feel when being watched by others in real life? I see his sense of what I call shame is very different from typical shame.

I find it helpful myself... Good luck!

Annie said:

The soul concept is too complex for him I think.   

Actually I felt that as a child, before, as an adult,  I read it was a 'superstition'.

I felt that they were stealing something from me and I didn't like to see myself in the photo afterwards.

Photographs encapsulate the past, as a moment in time, and if you think towards the future, you might not like that.

It's as though they take something from you.

I am, by-the-way, a photographer. 

I do see photography as quite a deep and complex thing, especially of people.