Intelligence fears

i think its more the fact when you have something you dont realise it because its your normal.... i didnt realise i was short sighted, everything was fuzzy and i couldnt copy the stuff off the board because i couldnt see it, everyone thought i was stupid for that but i simply couldnt see, but i thought my sight was normal so that was my normal and i thought everyone couldnt see it either and it was fuzzy for them but they was just smart and magically knowing what to write from the fuzzy board lol

I have had much the same experience, i always thought that I was of low intelligence. I did an IQ test and it shows that I’m actually not. My teen years were most probably the worst, my peers would always have girlfriends and seem to know how to act in a social situation. I just felt that I was always lesser than them, I suppose it makes you feel stupid. I’m still the one that ends up at a get together not wanting to be there and always in the way, I normally end up standing somewhere in the kitchen clock watching.  I just never felt the same as my teen friends.My knowledge was always miles ahead of them,  I occasionally observe them on social media and they are collecting a new Mercedes or at their holiday home. I still struggle to make ends meet, I get comments on my work of “ wow, how do you do that?” I know that I always under charge as I still never feel good enough, like a lesser person to them.

'It's easier to teach a dog to talk than to stop NT small talk' - trying to see if I can reword it to help us coin a good phrase here - awesome idiom!!! TY xx

Hi - you say it's an addiction.  Is that fact?  It could also be a form of OCD?  Welcoming of your feedback

He's not even an NT! I'm not sure what he is though, he has schizo-affective disorder, so either that or his meds give him some quite annoying traits he cannot seem to control.

Yeah, I've just been diagnosed with dyslexia and visual processing disorder.  It's no wonder I've found life difficult.  I've got ASD, CPTSD, possible ADHD (awaiting assessment), dyslexia and anxiety.  All of which went unnoticed through my formative years and up until my 40s.  I just kept my mouth shut while suffering inside.

I reckon we should carve a new idiom:

It is easier to teach talk to a dog, than to make an NT small talk stop.

Mariusz said:

during conversation it becomes something irrelevant, there is only one things that matters - conveying information.

I get this! Sometimes my husband will initiate a conversation about something he is actually not all that interested in, for small talk (why?!!!) and even if I am also not all that interested in it, if I know something relevant I feel an overwhelming urge to give him that info, even if he doesn't want to receive it! I am only just learning that sometimes I need to check if he is actually wanting my info dump or if it was just a passing comment that I should ignore. Because if I do info dump on him and he doesn't understand it I can get caught up in trying to explain and getting frustrated and he has his bored face on and it is horrible for both of us.

Feelings? Desires? Attitudes? It could as well be pure fiction for autistic, since during conversation it becomes something irrelevant, there is only one things that matters - conveying information.

It is time to realise that allistic makes us believe in rubbish like what did write, and that is an utter lie, 

Yes it’s difficult to know how to deal with this ‘compare-despair’ tendency. 
No matter what I would achieve I would still have this tendency.  It is a powerful addiction and like many addictions i am powerless over its use.  Also like other addictions it hides from me by my perception that conditions seem to be the problem not my tendency. 

I know this is a joke, but the spelling of Welsh is actually quite consistent with how it is pronounced, it is English spelling which puts letters in odd places!

sometimes i dont know whether dyslexia really exists... or whether the people that are dyslexic are just genetically welsh and it is their welsh genes that is making them see words with letters in the wrong places and too many of them in odd places lol

Ah well mine was carried out by the dyslexia society who unsurprisingly found I had dyslexia but failed to suggest I be assessed for autism.

you should try the new IQ tests they made to be politically correct and sensitive to people of none western culture..... i got like a iq score of over 9000 on those ones lol

you pretty much just get stuff like.... which one of these shapes is a square? lol

I did IQ test and social IQ test (facebook used to have link to one) when I was 30 and difference in score between both was 40 points

Thank you - seriously not looking for praise here though, just so you know. xxx

It is hard to avoid comparing. If it helps, I don't think that any of the things you said suggest that you are stupid, flawed or unworthy.

You have nailed just how I feel with comparison to peers, although I have seen some of my peers have not achieved as much as I have.  I can't seem to stop comparing. I also add in that I am two times divorced, living in a social housing and struggling to have ANY friends.  I'm 48 and wondering why I have not achieved more in my life.  It feels so depressing!

I worry bout my intelligence some times and feel bad that I'm not smart enough

I did iq test be for and I don't have the highest iq but imma learnin to accept this and that I have other qualities. It does still upset me a bit but I try not 2 let it

I'm like u with not always grasping what people say and mean

I don’t think doubting your intelligence is an autism thing per se, but I can certainly believe lots of people on the spectrum doubt their intelligence. I think struggling to understand social situations and communication is very much an autistic issue and nothing to feel ashamed of.

I have several bits of paper that supposedly certify how intelligent I am, but I tend to feel that they’re wrong. I compare myself with peers from school and university, who have gone on to high-powered careers in academia, law, medicine, politics and so on, while I have a part-time job doing basic office admin, a job I don’t even manage to do particularly well. I know that my job and career issues are in large part down to having autism (executive function issues, sensory issues, communication issues in interviews and networking), but I mostly blame myself anyway and think I should be doing the same as my peers, which is not healthy, but I don't know how to change it.