Intelligence fears

I don’t think doubting your intelligence is an autism thing per se, but I can certainly believe lots of people on the spectrum doubt their intelligence. I think struggling to understand social situations and communication is very much an autistic issue and nothing to feel ashamed of.

I have several bits of paper that supposedly certify how intelligent I am, but I tend to feel that they’re wrong. I compare myself with peers from school and university, who have gone on to high-powered careers in academia, law, medicine, politics and so on, while I have a part-time job doing basic office admin, a job I don’t even manage to do particularly well. I know that my job and career issues are in large part down to having autism (executive function issues, sensory issues, communication issues in interviews and networking), but I mostly blame myself anyway and think I should be doing the same as my peers, which is not healthy, but I don't know how to change it.

I don’t think doubting your intelligence is an autism thing per se, but I can certainly believe lots of people on the spectrum doubt their intelligence. I think struggling to understand social situations and communication is very much an autistic issue and nothing to feel ashamed of.

I have several bits of paper that supposedly certify how intelligent I am, but I tend to feel that they’re wrong. I compare myself with peers from school and university, who have gone on to high-powered careers in academia, law, medicine, politics and so on, while I have a part-time job doing basic office admin, a job I don’t even manage to do particularly well. I know that my job and career issues are in large part down to having autism (executive function issues, sensory issues, communication issues in interviews and networking), but I mostly blame myself anyway and think I should be doing the same as my peers, which is not healthy, but I don't know how to change it.

I have had much the same experience, i always thought that I was of low intelligence. I did an IQ test and it shows that I’m actually not. My teen years were most probably the worst, my peers would always have girlfriends and seem to know how to act in a social situation. I just felt that I was always lesser than them, I suppose it makes you feel stupid. I’m still the one that ends up at a get together not wanting to be there and always in the way, I normally end up standing somewhere in the kitchen clock watching.  I just never felt the same as my teen friends.My knowledge was always miles ahead of them,  I occasionally observe them on social media and they are collecting a new Mercedes or at their holiday home. I still struggle to make ends meet, I get comments on my work of “ wow, how do you do that?” I know that I always under charge as I still never feel good enough, like a lesser person to them.

Yes it’s difficult to know how to deal with this ‘compare-despair’ tendency. 
No matter what I would achieve I would still have this tendency.  It is a powerful addiction and like many addictions i am powerless over its use.  Also like other addictions it hides from me by my perception that conditions seem to be the problem not my tendency. 

You have nailed just how I feel with comparison to peers, although I have seen some of my peers have not achieved as much as I have.  I can't seem to stop comparing. I also add in that I am two times divorced, living in a social housing and struggling to have ANY friends.  I'm 48 and wondering why I have not achieved more in my life.  It feels so depressing!