Intelligence fears

I don’t think doubting your intelligence is an autism thing per se, but I can certainly believe lots of people on the spectrum doubt their intelligence. I think struggling to understand social situations and communication is very much an autistic issue and nothing to feel ashamed of.

I have several bits of paper that supposedly certify how intelligent I am, but I tend to feel that they’re wrong. I compare myself with peers from school and university, who have gone on to high-powered careers in academia, law, medicine, politics and so on, while I have a part-time job doing basic office admin, a job I don’t even manage to do particularly well. I know that my job and career issues are in large part down to having autism (executive function issues, sensory issues, communication issues in interviews and networking), but I mostly blame myself anyway and think I should be doing the same as my peers, which is not healthy, but I don't know how to change it.

You have nailed just how I feel with comparison to peers, although I have seen some of my peers have not achieved as much as I have.  I can't seem to stop comparing. I also add in that I am two times divorced, living in a social housing and struggling to have ANY friends.  I'm 48 and wondering why I have not achieved more in my life.  It feels so depressing!

You have nailed just how I feel with comparison to peers, although I have seen some of my peers have not achieved as much as I have.  I can't seem to stop comparing. I also add in that I am two times divorced, living in a social housing and struggling to have ANY friends.  I'm 48 and wondering why I have not achieved more in my life.  It feels so depressing!

'It's easier to teach a dog to talk than to stop NT small talk' - trying to see if I can reword it to help us coin a good phrase here - awesome idiom!!! TY xx

He's not even an NT! I'm not sure what he is though, he has schizo-affective disorder, so either that or his meds give him some quite annoying traits he cannot seem to control.

I reckon we should carve a new idiom:

It is easier to teach talk to a dog, than to make an NT small talk stop.

Mariusz said:

during conversation it becomes something irrelevant, there is only one things that matters - conveying information.

I get this! Sometimes my husband will initiate a conversation about something he is actually not all that interested in, for small talk (why?!!!) and even if I am also not all that interested in it, if I know something relevant I feel an overwhelming urge to give him that info, even if he doesn't want to receive it! I am only just learning that sometimes I need to check if he is actually wanting my info dump or if it was just a passing comment that I should ignore. Because if I do info dump on him and he doesn't understand it I can get caught up in trying to explain and getting frustrated and he has his bored face on and it is horrible for both of us.

Feelings? Desires? Attitudes? It could as well be pure fiction for autistic, since during conversation it becomes something irrelevant, there is only one things that matters - conveying information.

It is time to realise that allistic makes us believe in rubbish like what did write, and that is an utter lie, 

Thank you - seriously not looking for praise here though, just so you know. xxx

It is hard to avoid comparing. If it helps, I don't think that any of the things you said suggest that you are stupid, flawed or unworthy.