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Intelligence fears

Pennie_Jane

I seem to be obsessed with my intelligence, or lack thereof. 

Is this an autism thing? 

I'm not stupid, I can:

  • Turn my hand to most practical things
  • Build Ikea furniture with relative ease
  • Use a computer and all the MS products with proficiency, which many of my colleagues can't. 

But I convince myself that I am stupid. 

Much of it, I think, comes down to understanding social situations and I find when I watch social media posts that I don't grasp well what people are going on about, whether it be in writing or verbally.  The latter issue is what makes me feel hugely flawed. 

Anyone?

Parents

  • I don’t think doubting your intelligence is an autism thing per se, but I can certainly believe lots of people on the spectrum doubt their intelligence. I think struggling to understand social situations and communication is very much an autistic issue and nothing to feel ashamed of.

    I have several bits of paper that supposedly certify how intelligent I am, but I tend to feel that they’re wrong. I compare myself with peers from school and university, who have gone on to high-powered careers in academia, law, medicine, politics and so on, while I have a part-time job doing basic office admin, a job I don’t even manage to do particularly well. I know that my job and career issues are in large part down to having autism (executive function issues, sensory issues, communication issues in interviews and networking), but I mostly blame myself anyway and think I should be doing the same as my peers, which is not healthy, but I don't know how to change it.

  • in reply to Luftmentsch

    You have nailed just how I feel with comparison to peers, although I have seen some of my peers have not achieved as much as I have.  I can't seem to stop comparing. I also add in that I am two times divorced, living in a social housing and struggling to have ANY friends.  I'm 48 and wondering why I have not achieved more in my life.  It feels so depressing!

  • in reply to Pennie_Jane

    It is hard to avoid comparing. If it helps, I don't think that any of the things you said suggest that you are stupid, flawed or unworthy.

  • in reply to Mariusz

    'It's easier to teach a dog to talk than to stop NT small talk' - trying to see if I can reword it to help us coin a good phrase here - awesome idiom!!! TY xx

  • in reply to Mariusz

    He's not even an NT! I'm not sure what he is though, he has schizo-affective disorder, so either that or his meds give him some quite annoying traits he cannot seem to control.

  • in reply to AuTriker

    I reckon we should carve a new idiom:

    It is easier to teach talk to a dog, than to make an NT small talk stop.

  • in reply to Mariusz
    Mariusz said:
    during conversation it becomes something irrelevant, there is only one things that matters - conveying information.

    I get this! Sometimes my husband will initiate a conversation about something he is actually not all that interested in, for small talk (why?!!!) and even if I am also not all that interested in it, if I know something relevant I feel an overwhelming urge to give him that info, even if he doesn't want to receive it! I am only just learning that sometimes I need to check if he is actually wanting my info dump or if it was just a passing comment that I should ignore. Because if I do info dump on him and he doesn't understand it I can get caught up in trying to explain and getting frustrated and he has his bored face on and it is horrible for both of us.

  • in reply to Pennie_Jane

    Feelings? Desires? Attitudes? It could as well be pure fiction for autistic, since during conversation it becomes something irrelevant, there is only one things that matters - conveying information.

    It is time to realise that allistic makes us believe in rubbish like what did write, and that is an utter lie, 

  • in reply to Luftmentsch

    Thank you - seriously not looking for praise here though, just so you know. xxx

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