Should I bother with a diagnosis?

British journalism is an under-rated sport.  I admire many of the runners and riders.

I have years of Radio 4 being pumped into my brain and a ponsey attitude, to explain my florid ramblings.

I assure you that I don't want a date !  It feels obsequious complimenting "writing" in this place, so I'm glad you take it as intended.  I share your discomfort with the "up/down voting system".....I'm literally an infant in such matters.  I do NO social media of any description.  NAS is like BDSM to me - horrific!

Thanks. I've been thinking about some of these things from so many perspectives over the years that when I finally put the pieces together, there was enough there to draw from. But to be fair, my ability to write used to be dreadful. Thank you, British journalism, which sparked a desire to be more articulate with words. x

It's always your choice of course and you must do what you're comfortable doing but if I were you I would seek a diagnosis. It might be Little stressful having to explain about how you are and doing assessments but I think that feeling of knowing the truth when you get the diagnosis is worth all that hassle. You get a sense of belonging as well - I did anyway :) 

Whatever you decide I hope everything works out well for you.

Dear maidstonian,

Thank you for sharing this with our community. As a starting point, you may wish to read over our information on benefits: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/benefits-and-money/benefits

You can also find more information on benefits through the Citizen’s Advice website: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/

Thank you. I hope this helps!

Best regards,

Eunice Mod

a private one maybe.... but a nhs one? you will never hear back from it so its useless. its like a 10 year waiting list now.

Thank you for sharing such a positive and happy report with everyone.  I'm delighted for you and I'm sure your words will be a comfort and support to many.

You write beautifully.

Hi, I think it is very much up to you. Do you think it would help you to have an official diagnosis/validation that you are autistic? Or are you happy to self-identify? Do you think you might need some adjustments at work (in which case an official diagnosis would be useful)?

I have actually been diagnosed very recently (last week) at age 25. I wanted to have a formal diagnosis as I have been struggling for a long time with mental health and had by this point accumulated quite a large collection of diagnoses none of which really rang true. I have felt like an alien for a long time and I also thought that having a diagnosis would give me some peace and would possibly help me to better manage some of my struggles. I also wanted to feel part of a tribe. I had also hoped that there would be some more specialised support availabe for autistic people once I had a diagnosis however unfortunately this does not seem to be the case (at least not in my area), which I find distressing and disappointing. I think it is important to be aware that even after diagnosis there might not be much/any specialised support available- just so you don't end up disappointed in the end. Realising I might be autistic, the whole assessment process and then receiving the formal diagnosis did take up a lot of space in my mind and unlocked all kinds of feelings. I am glad I did it but I do still feel confused and struggle to come to terms with it all. I also feel very let down by medical professionals as noone realised I was autistic and also as now noone is providing support. But I do also know that some of my autistic traits are advantages. I am glad that I now know that I am autistic and that I had a formal assessment. 

I hope you figure out what is right for you. Like some people have already pointed out maybe it's a good idea to just get on the NHS waiting list whilst you are making up your mind as the wait through NHS is very long so you still have plenty of time to think it through. Good luck! In the meantime, welcome to this community- this is a lovely and super friendly community :) 

When I first spoke to my doctor about it she said "Is it worth it at your age?" I could live for another fifty years yet! So yes, even though I'm no youngster, I don't feel that any age is too old. 

For me, I was getting really tired of fitting in with everyone else and of trying to be like them. I was pretty certain that I was autistic and when I said about it to other people they didn't take it seriously. So I started out in order to show them. But with all of that trying to fit in and hiding my quirks and trying to ignore the things that really bothered me, life just plain wore me out! So in the end, although I was doing it for everyone else, I ended up doing it for myself too. I wanted to be myself and for everyone else to work a little for a change, as well as me. It's only been a month since I was diagnosed and it's made a big difference already. Those that didn't believe it, now do, and they help me out more. I've also, surprisingly, learnt more about myself. It's definitely been worth it for me.

Haha! I got more carried away with writing than you did!

Put your name down for screening and forget about it.  You can always opt out later.  There’s no commitment in taking one step in one direction. 

Hi Maidstonian, and welcome - all I can say is that I got a diagnosis recently (I'm about 10 years older than you, and I've certainly seen older people than me on here who got a diagnosis). For me that has been a positive experience.

To the outside world, even close family, it probably doesn't make any difference, and I've carried on with my life as normal, but for me, it was worth doing because I know myself better. I understand who I am better. It was a relief to find out that (for example) the reason I didn't speak to people at university, struggle making / retaining friends, and hate social situations, is not because I am useless, it's because I am autistic. The reason I have spent my life feeling on a different wavelength to other people is not because I'm at fault, it's because I am autistic.

So for me it's been a relief. It was a long wait, during which I came to terms with it well before I was officially diagnosed (to be honest, by the time I went for a diagnosis I just knew), but it was, for me worth it. It is of course a deeply personal decision, and what was right for me is not necessarily right for you.

From what I've found there are 2 distinct differences in how the Autistic brain is 'wired' which, branch out in to significant differences in communication, perspective and experience. One is how deeply impacted we are and the other is how we think, reason and perceive. I used to find it incredibly maddening no one else experienced the type of sensory impact I did. Many things feel like actual torture. Now that I understand non-autistic individuals can filter out incoming signals better than autistic, it makes sense. It doesn't imply they won't be affected, however. It simply means I'lll wear ear plugs while my non autistic friends slowly go deaf, sadly.

The different ways of thinking and perceiving have also made life a little less frustrating. I'm much more graceful with others and I think this changes how they respond to me as well. It doesn't mean I appear any less 'eccentric' or they appear any less 'dull', but we can enjoy each others company in short moments with learned manners and rules of engagement, which I find quite nice :) 

My "oddness" was nothing but that, until I was about 45.  Fully functional(ish) and happy.  Not interested AT ALL in trying to label myself, change myself or diagnose anything.  I couldn't see the point or value.  Presumed that we are ALL different and special little snowflakes - so what is the point in trying to over-analyse.

You will note that I have changed my opinion - trust me - for very good reasons!

Thanks for your reply. I hadn't considered what it may mean in the future. I don't know what it will bring, no-one knows thier future, but I take your point on board! I had just been thinking of it affecting childrenand young adults the most and when you get older you somehow learn to live with it or care less about what others think of your behaviour. But as with life, I'm still learning.

I think deep down a diagnosis is what I really want, and would be best to have a definite yes or no. I can choose who I tell of the outcome, but I appreciate  and expect it won't be a quick process.

Yes. seek a diagnosis - that would be my recommendation.

You are but-a-pup at 40 years old.  As you mature, if you are autistic, the challenges and delights of being so may start to manifest in ways that they have not previously.  This can be confusing and discombobulating so it is best to know what you ARE so that you can address any feelings and behaviours within a proper context.

Ask any 55+ human if they feel the same as they did when they were 40, and most will laugh, knowingly!

Good luck with your decision making.