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Should I bother with a diagnosis?

maidstonian

Hi, I'm new here but have a question.

                                                                        My youngest son was diagnosed with ASD about 18 months ago at age 7. We were told it was only mild, which made sense. Since his diagnosis I have noticed more and more similarities between him and myself including how he behves when his brother is winding up, very much like my brother used to do to me.I've never been able to cope with frustration and can get frustrated very easily. My parents just think it's stress, but I have no more stress than  the average person

                            I have always felt unconnected from the crowd as such, struggling socially and have been told i am too blunt by friends and colleagues on many occasions for example. I ahve also recently thought and realised I have become more dependant on alcohol to socialise with people at parties etc. with people I don't know or not overly fond of. There are more things obviously but I don't want to type all day. 

                               I am mostly convinced I have a mild form of ASD like my son does, but I'm not sure whether it is worth me getting a diagnosis? I am 40 years old so I'm assuming it's not going to change my life now, but would help explain past and some current behaviours (and perhaps make the in-laws realise I'm not an a-hole) The main point I'm making is that younger people would be more understandable such as my partners family, but my parents and those older than me would be dismissive. To me it's a bit like ADHD, 20 years ago you never heard of it, but now it seems to be everywhere.20 years ago I didn't really hear of autism or if I did, they had very apparent learning difficulties. It's a good thing I'm sure that these things are better  understood and noticed, just for me I don't know whether it's worth pursuing something that probably won't change anything and half the people I know won't believe me or think im attention seeking or something. Does anyone have any thoughts on this or perhaps similar experience?  Thanks

Sory, I got a bit carried away with my thoughts and probably typed too much to read.

Parents

  • Hi Maidstonian, and welcome - all I can say is that I got a diagnosis recently (I'm about 10 years older than you, and I've certainly seen older people than me on here who got a diagnosis). For me that has been a positive experience.

    To the outside world, even close family, it probably doesn't make any difference, and I've carried on with my life as normal, but for me, it was worth doing because I know myself better. I understand who I am better. It was a relief to find out that (for example) the reason I didn't speak to people at university, struggle making / retaining friends, and hate social situations, is not because I am useless, it's because I am autistic. The reason I have spent my life feeling on a different wavelength to other people is not because I'm at fault, it's because I am autistic.

    So for me it's been a relief. It was a long wait, during which I came to terms with it well before I was officially diagnosed (to be honest, by the time I went for a diagnosis I just knew), but it was, for me worth it. It is of course a deeply personal decision, and what was right for me is not necessarily right for you.

Reply

  • Hi Maidstonian, and welcome - all I can say is that I got a diagnosis recently (I'm about 10 years older than you, and I've certainly seen older people than me on here who got a diagnosis). For me that has been a positive experience.

    To the outside world, even close family, it probably doesn't make any difference, and I've carried on with my life as normal, but for me, it was worth doing because I know myself better. I understand who I am better. It was a relief to find out that (for example) the reason I didn't speak to people at university, struggle making / retaining friends, and hate social situations, is not because I am useless, it's because I am autistic. The reason I have spent my life feeling on a different wavelength to other people is not because I'm at fault, it's because I am autistic.

    So for me it's been a relief. It was a long wait, during which I came to terms with it well before I was officially diagnosed (to be honest, by the time I went for a diagnosis I just knew), but it was, for me worth it. It is of course a deeply personal decision, and what was right for me is not necessarily right for you.

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