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Should I bother with a diagnosis?

maidstonian

Hi, I'm new here but have a question.

                                                                        My youngest son was diagnosed with ASD about 18 months ago at age 7. We were told it was only mild, which made sense. Since his diagnosis I have noticed more and more similarities between him and myself including how he behves when his brother is winding up, very much like my brother used to do to me.I've never been able to cope with frustration and can get frustrated very easily. My parents just think it's stress, but I have no more stress than  the average person

                            I have always felt unconnected from the crowd as such, struggling socially and have been told i am too blunt by friends and colleagues on many occasions for example. I ahve also recently thought and realised I have become more dependant on alcohol to socialise with people at parties etc. with people I don't know or not overly fond of. There are more things obviously but I don't want to type all day. 

                               I am mostly convinced I have a mild form of ASD like my son does, but I'm not sure whether it is worth me getting a diagnosis? I am 40 years old so I'm assuming it's not going to change my life now, but would help explain past and some current behaviours (and perhaps make the in-laws realise I'm not an a-hole) The main point I'm making is that younger people would be more understandable such as my partners family, but my parents and those older than me would be dismissive. To me it's a bit like ADHD, 20 years ago you never heard of it, but now it seems to be everywhere.20 years ago I didn't really hear of autism or if I did, they had very apparent learning difficulties. It's a good thing I'm sure that these things are better  understood and noticed, just for me I don't know whether it's worth pursuing something that probably won't change anything and half the people I know won't believe me or think im attention seeking or something. Does anyone have any thoughts on this or perhaps similar experience?  Thanks

Sory, I got a bit carried away with my thoughts and probably typed too much to read.

Parents

  • Hi, I think it is very much up to you. Do you think it would help you to have an official diagnosis/validation that you are autistic? Or are you happy to self-identify? Do you think you might need some adjustments at work (in which case an official diagnosis would be useful)?

    I have actually been diagnosed very recently (last week) at age 25. I wanted to have a formal diagnosis as I have been struggling for a long time with mental health and had by this point accumulated quite a large collection of diagnoses none of which really rang true. I have felt like an alien for a long time and I also thought that having a diagnosis would give me some peace and would possibly help me to better manage some of my struggles. I also wanted to feel part of a tribe. I had also hoped that there would be some more specialised support availabe for autistic people once I had a diagnosis however unfortunately this does not seem to be the case (at least not in my area), which I find distressing and disappointing. I think it is important to be aware that even after diagnosis there might not be much/any specialised support available- just so you don't end up disappointed in the end. Realising I might be autistic, the whole assessment process and then receiving the formal diagnosis did take up a lot of space in my mind and unlocked all kinds of feelings. I am glad I did it but I do still feel confused and struggle to come to terms with it all. I also feel very let down by medical professionals as noone realised I was autistic and also as now noone is providing support. But I do also know that some of my autistic traits are advantages. I am glad that I now know that I am autistic and that I had a formal assessment. 

    I hope you figure out what is right for you. Like some people have already pointed out maybe it's a good idea to just get on the NHS waiting list whilst you are making up your mind as the wait through NHS is very long so you still have plenty of time to think it through. Good luck! In the meantime, welcome to this community- this is a lovely and super friendly community :) 

Reply

  • Hi, I think it is very much up to you. Do you think it would help you to have an official diagnosis/validation that you are autistic? Or are you happy to self-identify? Do you think you might need some adjustments at work (in which case an official diagnosis would be useful)?

    I have actually been diagnosed very recently (last week) at age 25. I wanted to have a formal diagnosis as I have been struggling for a long time with mental health and had by this point accumulated quite a large collection of diagnoses none of which really rang true. I have felt like an alien for a long time and I also thought that having a diagnosis would give me some peace and would possibly help me to better manage some of my struggles. I also wanted to feel part of a tribe. I had also hoped that there would be some more specialised support availabe for autistic people once I had a diagnosis however unfortunately this does not seem to be the case (at least not in my area), which I find distressing and disappointing. I think it is important to be aware that even after diagnosis there might not be much/any specialised support available- just so you don't end up disappointed in the end. Realising I might be autistic, the whole assessment process and then receiving the formal diagnosis did take up a lot of space in my mind and unlocked all kinds of feelings. I am glad I did it but I do still feel confused and struggle to come to terms with it all. I also feel very let down by medical professionals as noone realised I was autistic and also as now noone is providing support. But I do also know that some of my autistic traits are advantages. I am glad that I now know that I am autistic and that I had a formal assessment. 

    I hope you figure out what is right for you. Like some people have already pointed out maybe it's a good idea to just get on the NHS waiting list whilst you are making up your mind as the wait through NHS is very long so you still have plenty of time to think it through. Good luck! In the meantime, welcome to this community- this is a lovely and super friendly community :) 

Children
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