I'm not sure

Hi and welcome here. I'm glad you found this place, it is a great place to be full of lovely people and a lot of love and support. Based on what you said I think you definitely should seek an assessment, and before seeing the GP you could write down how you feel and how you are, that way it's less pressure on you when it comes to seeing the GP. 

NAS82232 said:

Sometimes, when I'm in a busy environment, like pub. the voices seem to meld into one sound and it makes me want to run out of the room because it's too loud.

This happens to me as well. When there's too much noise my head spins and I can't process anything and have to get out fast or I'll have a meltdown.

You are definitely not alone. Please let us know how you get on with seeing the GP and starting the ball rolling for an assessment.

Xx

Crying is good release of tension, though probably not in public.

I do sometimes when witnessing something profound happening, 

NAS82232 said:

, like I'm being judged.

Allistic do judge people all the time, in their heads, so it isn't your imagination. Just learn how to ignore it, their standards are entirely different. For them it matters only how it will impact social status.

NAS82232 said:

I'm anti social because I don't feel like anyone understands me.

Second part is true, but it doesn't mean you're anisocial, it means you don't find socialising allistic way appealing. It's Double Empathy problem, Allistic and autistic build different THeory of Mind during their lives, Allistic think: everyone thinks like me. Autistic think: everyone thinks differently to me.

Drinking will only push you deeper into depression.. Stop comparing yourself to allistic standards.

Noticing details like you described is how we perceive sorroundings, and we don't like being in a crowd, or noisy places

32+ on AQ50 strongly indicates you might be autistic. I score 42 everytime, and I did few over years

Children mathematically oriented for some reason get atypical results on AQ50, while 12 is average for humans, they do get 20-25. I saw it an report somewhere

Hi NAS82232, good that you are here and glad that you raised this. (And thanks @Nas72376) and Billy87 for their helpful responses.)

Someone with more knowledge might be able to advise about the drinking issue - this might address some of the self-hatred.

Thank You everyone for your kind and supportive responses.

I did the AQ50 questionnaire, that some of you recommended and I must admit some the questions, I had an instant response to. Others, I thought about a bit more because I didn't want to rush an answer. I wanted my answers to be as honest as possible, if that makes sense. 

anyway, I scored 39/50

Yes indeed you'll need to do that if you want to go for an assessment. An AQ50 will easy that conversation.

"Sometimes, when I'm in a busy environment, like pub. the voices seem to meld into one sound and it makes me want to run out of the room because it's too loud"

This exact thing happened to me in the cafe at IKEA today. I ended up having to sit in the car for 20 minutes with my head in my hands, just all got too much 

I wouldnt like to say whether you are autistic or not, all I will say is everything you described is how I feel too and a lot of it sounds like autistic experiences and how we experience the world

When I was first looking into my autism I took the test on Clinical Partners, dont know whether its any good but I found it helpful. There is an NHS Q and A too I think. 

We are all here for you to talk on here while you figure it out and start your journey 

Thank You, I'll try that and maybe talk to my GP

A definitive answer might help. Have you tried an AQ50? It's a questionnaire you'll find online. It's not a diagnosis but it will give you an idea of whether an assessment is worthwhile and focus on the issue of whether you want one or just want to self identify. Whether you go the official route or not it will give you a starter for 10 as to pinning down the issue.