Advice re an oppressive comment

Hi Nya, Sorry to hear you are having a tough time and totaly understand the word 'difficult' in relation to autism being upsetting! I have linked to some information below that might be useful, I usually send it to parents who struggle to understand the 'difficult' behaviours of thier ASD children but I thought it might help in turning that notion around for you and stop that negative loop.

You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk.  They also have an information and support service which you can contact by phone or email – details can be found here: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/for-family-carers/family-support-service/ 

You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour 

You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory 

Hope that helps,

SarahMod

The challenging behaviour link also refers to PBS and what is called a "person-centred" approach but which then seems to focus on teaching skills, often to those with co-occurring learning disabilities, so, yes, some clarification would be very helpful here.  

My concern is that some of the advice might descend into quite basic behaviourism when it isn't appropriate and without considering the double empathy problem, and perhaps also ignore the various issues relating to being in a minority.  So any clarification you could provide would be very useful here, Sarah.

I also notice that the directory is referred to quite a lot but, speaking for myself here (although Nya and others might find the same), I find it hard to sift through and know whether any of the organisations listed can help with my issues - is there anyone at the NAS who can guide and signpost on an individual basis?

Thank you Jenny, your thoughts are really helpful. I agree that I find the directory very hard to navigate and so have given up. I would love to speak to someone to get some of these thoughts out of my head, but last time I did that the person on the phone told me to stop overthinking things and that everyone is on the spectrum. I'm too scared of contacting a non-specialist crisis line again in case it further confirms that I am the problem. Maybe I am. But I'd rather communicate with someone/an organisation that understands things from a neurodiverse perspective. I'm really really struggling today.

Thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond and your thoughts are really helpful. N

NAS81985 said:

to stop overthinking things and that everyone is on the spectrum.

Blimey!  That's a bit of a no-no from a "helper"!  So much "help" out there is designed for the non autistic majority and might not help us.  In fact it might even damage us or set us back so we do need to be careful. 

I would strongly recommend either Aucademy or Ausome Training.  Indeed, and as you will see from my other posts, I'm thinking of having a consultation with Chloe Farahar of Aucademy myself.  Plus they also have a Facebook group with regular Zoom meetups, which I also attend from time to time - not the same as therapy, I know, but I nonetheless find it quite therapeutic and very understanding.  

aucademy.co.uk/.../ 

So sorry you are struggling but I think it really does help to belong to commnities that are unlikely to make you feel as though you're the problem.  We have problems certainly, but I believe that many of those are caused by people and environments who are not very aware, not very understanding and often, beneath a thin veneer, quite judgemental.  Help needs to genuinely person-centred (which in my book means person-led and not simply clustered around the individual in the ways in which services which aren't autism-friendly might deem appropriate because they find us "challenging") and therefore tailored to the individual. 

NAS81985 said:

to stop overthinking things and that everyone is on the spectrum.

Blimey!  That's a bit of a no-no from a "helper"!  So much "help" out there is designed for the non autistic majority and might not help us.  In fact it might even damage us or set us back so we do need to be careful. 

I would strongly recommend either Aucademy or Ausome Training.  Indeed, and as you will see from my other posts, I'm thinking of having a consultation with Chloe Farahar of Aucademy myself.  Plus they also have a Facebook group with regular Zoom meetups, which I also attend from time to time - not the same as therapy, I know, but I nonetheless find it quite therapeutic and very understanding.  

aucademy.co.uk/.../ 

So sorry you are struggling but I think it really does help to belong to commnities that are unlikely to make you feel as though you're the problem.  We have problems certainly, but I believe that many of those are caused by people and environments who are not very aware, not very understanding and often, beneath a thin veneer, quite judgemental.  Help needs to genuinely person-centred (which in my book means person-led and not simply clustered around the individual in the ways in which services which aren't autism-friendly might deem appropriate because they find us "challenging") and therefore tailored to the individual. 

Thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond and your thoughts are really helpful. N