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Advice re an oppressive comment

NAS81985

Hi all

I'm writing as I have recently spiralled into a cycle of shut downs and meltdowns and am struggling to get out as I'm confused. A key person in my support network told me that 'austic people can be difficult'. I challenged this as it felt to me like a stigmatising comment, and using a negative stereotype of autistic people. My issue was the person attempting to justify it and leaving me feeling powerless to continue challenging as by doing so it makes me seem like I am indeed being difficult. I'm also female, and this is often a negative word used against women as well. My mind is now consumed with this label - 'difficult' - and I can't stop obsessing about it. I'm left questioning if I am difficult, and my autism means I can't see it, or if I'm right and this was an oppressive comment, further bolstered by the attempts at justification, and that it's okay for me to maintain my position, or even avoid it completely until this person has had some time to reflect. It's very triggering as before I was diagnosed as an adult I spent my whole life feeling like I was wrong and difficult, and post-diagnosis have been working hard to rid myself of this internalised narrative. This has really set me back.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this, and any advice?

Many thanks

Nya

Parents Reply Children
  • in reply to SarahMod

    The challenging behaviour link also refers to PBS and what is called a "person-centred" approach but which then seems to focus on teaching skills, often to those with co-occurring learning disabilities, so, yes, some clarification would be very helpful here.  

    My concern is that some of the advice might descend into quite basic behaviourism when it isn't appropriate and without considering the double empathy problem, and perhaps also ignore the various issues relating to being in a minority.  So any clarification you could provide would be very useful here, Sarah.

    I also notice that the directory is referred to quite a lot but, speaking for myself here (although Nya and others might find the same), I find it hard to sift through and know whether any of the organisations listed can help with my issues - is there anyone at the NAS who can guide and signpost on an individual basis?