Struggle to find social connections as an Autistic Adult

Hi all,

 So last month, on the last Thursday of the month, I tried to attend a social event hosted by NAS (or at the very least promoted by NAS on their website: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory/n/nassocial-goup-croydon). But unfortunately I couldn't find the people who were meant to be there. Additionally, the phone number, email etc. didn't work. I had to contact a lot of people to try and find out more information about the group (i.e. NAS staff unrelated to the event) and even then I couldn't find much information.

 But what is strange to me is that the event was held at a pub? And a very busy one at that. It was very uncomfortable for me with so many people and loud noises. However, I still tried to stay and find the group for about an hour. I asked the bartender if she knew about the group, but she didn't know anything about it. All in all, it was an extremely stressful situation. I think it would have been worth it if I found the social group, but I didn't end up finding anyone. Is the group still active? Does anyone have any information about this group?

 Why is it so hard to find autistic social groups for adults? I have tried for a very long time to find social groups - but most that I ended up finding was ones for children/young adults (<18 - I am 22) or autistic care homes.

 I really really want some friends in real life. Especially someone who is autistic like me. Do you guys have any tips or know of any groups in the Croydon/London area?

yjzhou

  • Why is it so hard to find autistic social groups for adults?

    With regards to official NAS stuff it’s because most local branches are run by parents of autistic kids not autistic adults themselves. There’s something of a vicious circle there. High functioning Autistic adults are not keen to ‘buy in’ as volunteers when they see the organisation has no enthusiasm for providing events for people like them. Which in turn means no one ever challenges the assumption of parents that offering services for kids is the primary purpose of the group.

    I don’t see much way around it bar allowing competing (child v adult) branches in the same area (inefficient as a use of resources) or forcing some sort of quota of events for adults on local branches (fair but likely to alienate existing volunteers)

  • never played tabletop

    It's hard to imagine, I spent my teenage years doing it every weekend

    but

    WH10K Battle is a simplified version of Warhammer Fantasy Battle, after you remove tactics and replace it with more dices, so instead on your brain you have to relay on your luck, it's my opinion, 

    anyway rules are extensive, and if you're unwilling to get your butt kicked many times at first it isn't for you,  doing only ''Charge'', ''March'' or ''Shoot'' always loses in Fantasy Battle, but not everyone realises there is ''Move'' or ''Turn around'', and many other actions as well Stuck out tongue, in 40K there is only march or shoot left, of course once you're in melee you always fight, unless you want to run Stuck out tongue

    from this year they've stopped supporting Warhammer Fantasy Battle, so I plan to buy lots of models once they get cheaper, you can still play even if it's out of date Smiley

  • yeah, not been posting much but getting back to where i was before.

    but yeah, pubs a terriblle idea for an nas event, i know there's not exactly an abundance of venues for anything anymore and pubs have filled the gap for years.

    but,yeah, not only building tye "balls" to even go to a pub entrance, let alone the experience once entered, especially for non-drinkers, is awful, and especially for drinkers, it can make old habits return just to deal with it all.

    but then, whats the alternative? 

    also, im  north east london, so other side of city from you, well now croydons ondon, but yeah, feel freev to message if ya want, saw wh,40,k as one of your interests, never played tabletop, but love the universe 

  • I wouldn't like to meet in a pub as well

    one member that I know off  on this forum is from London 

    but he's a bit down lately, so thread lightly

  • Hello ,

    I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad experience at the social event. You may want to use our Autism Services Directory to search for what you're looking for in your area that cater for people with an autism spectrum disorder. You can find the Directory here: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory 

    All the best,

    ChloeMod