developmental age

Desmond79 said:

I was ALWAYS immature

haha, it seems it's autistic trait as well

when I was 18, during last year at Liceum (High School equivalent), shortly before sitting Matura (A-levels) I was busy translating rulebooks for Warhammer Battle, and I was doing it during classes instead of attending, it annoyed my math teacher, and she asked me a question, I think now it was rethorical:

''How old are you''

I answered using poem for kids:

''Mam 6 latek, 6 i pol....'' 

it means:

''I'm 6, six and a half...''

:D

I was ALWAYS immature; after leaving Uni.

Before 2001, I was an old head on young shoulders. Then, I failed to get the job my Degree merited. Whenever I did get a job; I was a mess.

In the end my life was put on hold; at age 22.

but my fingers are crossed for next Vivaldi

So, what can you do to help your kid?

to discover what's their special interest,

to turn it into something grandiose, without push

e.g. something like being currious about car number plates, normally regarded as useless, might be begining towards statistical analysis (it would be for me, there are various paths), and at the least practise in memorisation giving handy memory boost

I wish I knew that math was my life earlier, though it was first special interest I discovered, but I was 10 by then, and I didn't get any assistance in developing it until I was 14, from a new math teacher, previous thought I'm a cheat, and then I was discouraged from stydying math at uni, by everyone around, I know it now it was not a good move

I tend to view the term "developmental age" with suspicion these days as, from birth onwards, it's based on averages which probably aren't meaningful for the individual but more often an implied criticism or standard against which people, and especially neurodivergent people, are unfavourably measured - hardly encouraging or motivating.  Plus, of course, it'd be hard to find a perfectly average person who matched the standard measurements across the board.  We're human, and we all have our strengths and challenges, after all.  And most of us will be outliers in one way or another.  

I wish I'd been more suspicious earlier on too, as such standards were imposed by health visitors from birth onwards, then reinforced by educators and parenting books.  Of course, some things can be worrying and do need following up - trust your instincts on this -  but if I had my chance at parenting again, I would focus on the child as an individual, be aware of them very probably having a spikey profile in terms of their abilities and not worry so much about milestones such as when they're toilet trained (it seemed to take a VERY long time!) or sleep through the night (likewise and in fact it never happened for one of my now adult children) or learn to read (although this happened extremely early in our family).   

Yes, LD can be a factor, but so can personality and the environment more generally.  If the child is too anxious to "perform" in a particular environment, or is situationally mute, for example, then the fault lies in the external environment and not the child.  I can clearly remember being referred to as "gormless" in front of a large group of my peers, when actually I was feeling just too nervous to speak and interact with other group members.  Any observer might have assumed that I was developmentally delayed but if I'd been in a more accepting environment I probably would have been able to speak.  And they'd probably have been quite perplexed when I performed really well on written tests (this was between me and a bit of paper so I didn't feel overwhelmed by exposure anxiety).  OTOH one of my children had real problems with handwriting (dysgraphia, probably) so often was unable to convey the intelligence that shone through in other ways.  Again, very individual. 

So I'd say, drill down, avoid making assumptions about intelligence or competence based on rigid benchmarks and timelines, and appreciate and nurture the person as they are.     

nah not really. its like when youre a teenager you are very good at spotting the hypocracy of adults.... well im 45 now and im still there. i also love being around young kinds as i find it easy to relate to them and have simple fun. NT's think i need a kick up the ***. 

My family and myself see a very able boy in my Son. I think he just needs the right teaching or techniques to bring this out. I do feel very upset when people suggest he will never develop or achieve much as he is developing and achieving small things all the time.

Daniel said:

diversity in brain development =

 we're developing something else when we're 3 or 4 or 5y.o., something that's not language in most cases, so please do not call us stupid or dumb just because we don't speak your language yet

I remember very well how I was treated or what was said around me from about 4y.o., probably other autistic too, or even earlier

I had serious head injury when 5y.o., that could have erased earlier memories

I don’t believe developmental delay as it’s described necessarily a bad thing. All the milestones are actually manmade, they are not natural. I believe diversity in brain development = diversity in human development, then it’s the same with academics, standardised academics are manmade. I strongly believe people are better at subjects than the education system judges them, I think people would do better if they were allowed to learn at their own pace.

 I see standardising everything is the problem, we only believe in developmental delay because we have standardised human development, developmental delay is not part of nature, it’s made by humans. If we’re going to regard disabled people as “abnormal” it becomes necessary to define the behaviour, appearance, and achievement of “normal” people, the fact we can’t brings the issue is they any such thing as “normal development?”

it might be something as simple as mix of alexthymia with reluctance to lie, so about every second autistic, without any impediments, which is preceived often as being gullible and childish and pathologised 

Temple Grandin is one of my very few "famous" heroes.

I think she is a fabulous human and a true genius.

Not really relevant (so sorry for butting in) but I can't see her name without letting off a metaphorical flare!

I think that you would need assessment by specialists to be sure either way. Dr Temple Grandin was late in speaking and her title is enough to show that she was never intellectually disabled.

My Son is moving to a specialist setting in September  . He shows many ASD traits, he has speech and language delay and is a year or two behind academically. While the SENCO and Head teacher at his previous mainstream school had him down as being moderately to severely intellectually disabled, my Sister who is a SENCO at a different mainstream school has said he is not intellectually disabled he may possibly just not top of the class academically but then many people aren’t.

Generally when they say some one has a mental age of X they just mean they get the average raw score (unadjusted for age) that some one of age x usually gets on an iq test. It’s just a proxy for IQ usually and IQ is not a good proxy for an autistic person ability to cope with life without help and be independent etc.

Thank you. 

It can be both. An autistic child with average or above average intelligence can have sensory difficulties in the classroom that may slow their development, as defined by tests. Autistic children without intellectual disability may have specific learning difficulties, such as dyslexia and dyscalculia, which may also have the same effect when  they are tested for reading age or mathematical proficiency.

This is for school age children, for younger children a delay in speech or a regression in speech can be caused by autism, with the child later catching up and proving to have average or above average intelligence. 

The majority of autistic people have average or above average intelligence, but the proportion of autistic people also having intellectual disability is higher than in the non-autistic population.