Published on 12, July, 2020
The older I get the more I notice a difference between me and my peers regarding my social skills, and the more they notice a difference in me too.
I feel like as everyone is getting older and maturing i'm just frozen in time. Forever trapped as a younger person stuck in the body of an adult, no matter what I do. `No matter how hard I mask.
I felt the first big jump when I was transitioning into my teenage years. I just wanted to mess about, play classical playground games, do what we used to do. But girls my age just wanted to sit around talking about boys. Everything was changing and it was nerve wracking.
I'm now turning 23 and I'm noticing the big jump again, except this time it's worse, harder. I don't know what to do to emulate my peers at all. They can just tell that I'm different.
I don't want to get pushed out, I want friends. A romantic relationship. I've been craving more structure relationship wise because of this, a relationship with rules. I've returned to religion, not because I'm necessarily a believer but because religious people tend to have well defined social rules that I can learn, follow, and as long as I stick to those rules I'm less likely to be socially ostracised.
I'm in a lot of distress. I don't know what to do. Everything is changing so fast, faster than I can keep up with.
Hi bebe,
I was told that it is very common for those that are autistic to be behind in development compared to NT and not feel ready for certain relationships / events ect, but at about the age of 29/30 they eventually catch up. I'm currently Un diagnosed , but starting to feel more certain that I am autistic (still feels odd writing that). I had my first relationship at... You guessed it 30! It might be hard to think at the moment, but you have time on your side, just be patient ( I know this is easier said than done) I'm sure you will feel ready as you get older, and get the things you want/ need. Good luck.
I was 28. I did want to but I just couldn't put the pieces together before then to work out how people worked. Couldn't pick up on flirting and lacked any self esteem to believe in myself, so why would others. Its almost comical when i think back and look at myself. Im a better person for being on my own during that time. Made me appreciate what i have now.
Sure, i had my heart broken a couple of times but who doesn't.
There is absolutely no way i would have functioned in a relationship in my 20's. I didn't have the skillset or emotional capacity to make a relationship work. I knew that, but couldn't understand exactly why. Now i have a reason and im like.....yeah.....that makes sense now.