Who else goes to prostitutes

So if I told you that quickly raised eyebrows indicated a questioning state of mind, when you saw someone raise their and lower their eyebrows quickly you could not remember this fact and make the correct deduction?

I cannot read music, but I could be taught to do so. What I am suggesting is that 'reading others' by subconscious instinct, is replaced by the conscious application of learned knowledge.

when I look at another human and see a reaction, my brain is trying to choose from a pool of equally probable choices, and picks one at random, almost always the wrong interpretation

for some reason there is no storing of the pattern  about it, no retention, so nothing to recall

Charles Darwin wrote a book on facial expression "The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals", a very long time ago. More recently Desmond Morris made a fairly lucrative career writing 36 books on the subject of body language, gesture and non-verbal communication in general. Empiricism is the father of British science, nothing wrong with looking and making deductions that's what Darwin and Wallace did and came up with evolution..

wishful thinking

every 2nd autistic is alexithymic, meaning they can't read others

Specifically around non verbal/vocal communication. There isn't. Sorry but I've looked at the research and it just isn't there. There are very vague qualitative observations largely not backed up by quantitive research. I looked into this quite a bit in the late 00s. As far as I could see no one have taken an empirical approach to body language / facial expressions. There's been a small amount of work on eye contact using eye tracking software.

There is a huge amount of information out there about non-vocal (more specific than 'non-verbal') communication between human beings. Perhaps autistic children and adults should be taught these skills? In the same way that playing a musical instrument is (apart from a few savants) not acquired instinctively by neurotypical people and is taught, non vocal communication is not acquired instinctively by autistic people and is a skill that is amenable to structured teaching.

Ideally, such learned non-vocal communication skills would place autistic people on a more even footing with allistic people, in the arena of gaining romantic partners.

I'm well aware this thread will most likely get locked which in my opinion it shouldn't this is a real issue confronting autistic people and a topic that needs a proper airing. I'm not going to comment on the posters opening post's specific details except to say I'm certainly in no position to judge him.

The reality is autism is a disability that makes it harder to engage in sexual relationships. There are lots of disabilities like this. People often don't want to have sex with a body that is noticeably different, disfigured or impaired. Prostitutes are well aware that they are disproportionately used by disabled people. Many even go out of their way to get hoists or wheelchair ramps. Autism is just another impediment. People often don't want sex or relationships with people who's social skills are obviously abnormal or impaired.

In general there are 3 topics that need to be addressed.

1. The fact that providing prostitution doesn't help people find long lasting relationships, which is something many would like (as well as sex).
2. Statistically prostitution is largely harmful to prostitutes.
3. Prostitution is expensive. Only the rich can access sex with a prostitute it as regularly as a sexual partner unless prostitution is subsidised.

The last 2 are fairly self explanatory. Prostitution tends to be associated with drug use, abuse and poverty. The notion the glamorous call girl living the high life is certainly the exception not the rule and even if that form of prostitution isn't harmful it's beyond the means of most disabled people. Escort agencies are generally charging 3 figure sums a night.

More importantly I think disabled people, including autistic people, have a right to expect equal opportunities in life and that includes sexual relationships. Sex with a prostitute is not a relationship, except maybe a business one. Being neurotypical is not a 'genuine occupational requirement' for loving some one, or flirting, or getting laid.

So what are the alternatives to prostitution. If we don't look to prostitutes to have sex with autistic people then some one else must be expected to. The general population or some sub set of it. There are basically 4 options

1. Through guilt or some other form of manipulation the government pressures the population as a whole into being more open into having sex with autistic (or for that matter disabled) people. Basically peer pressuring the population into being open to sex with autistic people. ... Placing aside any ethical issues I'm dubious about whether this could be effective.
2. Recruit volenters. Programs specifically asking for people actively interested in having sex with autistic (or disabled) people as a form of good deed. It would probably be less damaging than prostitution but it still wouldn't meet the need of forming real lasting relationships.
3. An aggressive program of dating 'assistance' for autistic (or disabled) people. I'm not talking about a dating agency if anything something more like a pick up artist training system, but it would have to be one that actually worked. Something involving stylists to help them dress, 'wing men/women' to help set them up in conversations. Renting out fancy cars and other props to help them impress the opposite sex. And mostly lots of training on how to talk peoples pants off. ... This ticks the key boxes. The same skills that could get them into peoples beds could help them get into relationships. Unfortunately the public would almost certainly accuse any organisation doing this of turning autistic young men into 'predators.'
4. Virtual girlfriends. This is not a new idea. In the 90s you could get services in japan where girls would send you flirty text messages throughout your day posing as a girlfriend you didn't have. We now have a huge amount of AI technology and robotics technology has come on a lot. We have nearly human sounding AI voices, we have believable deep fakes and supper realistic CGI. A robotic AI girlfriend, one that could pass, or nearly pass, for human, is a very real possibility in our lifetimes. And even with out better robotics how hard would it be to take a very advanced chat bot like GTP-3 and link it to a super realistic CGI vocaloid girlfriend who you could talk to over skype, or indeed have cyber sex with. An AI can form a relationship with a person in the sense that it can adapt its responses to some one else's conversation and retain facts about that person. ... It's not a good solution, but it probably is better than prostitution and it's pretty much going to happen whether people like it or not.

Bluntly there is 0 interest in society in dealing with the sexual relationship inequality disabled people experience. Those who accept prostitution see it as a solution and those who don't mostly think disabled people should be willing to accept a life with out sex. As always nothing will change unless disabled people, autistic people included, are willing to make fuss about it.

Oh my! I could NEVER bring my self to do this. Oh my. It takes me weeks to sleep with a woman, never mind paying for it. 

but thinking of it, I’ve never had to even consider this filthy act. Looking at what you’re paying for isn’t going to make downstairs work for me

The idea of being sexually intimate with a woman I did not know, like, respect and have feelings for, makes my skin crawl, to be honest. A large proportion of prostitutes are, sadly, damaged people; coming from childhood homes with little or no parental love or stability and often are the victims of various forms of child abuse. They are often later exploited and abused by pimps in their working lives. I could not put money into a system that exploits vulnerable people, for that reason alone. There are some prostitutes who are mentally strong and use prostitution as a lucrative way of making money, but they are a small minority.

You make a mistake, own it, pay the price, learn from it, don't repeat, some mistakes can cost a fortune

I’m not going to say what you should or shouldn’t be doing. You are an adult. If you need education and support to make right decisions, then you should seek out that help. Clearly you have a lack of understanding in many areas, and you do need guidance, especially regarding what constitutes a relationship and where boundaries should be set.

Of course a woman can be come pregnant at that age! As long as she’s menstruating, it’s a given, especially when protection isn’t being used. And that’s not just your responsibility by the way, 

It sounds as though you were in a relationship with her? Spending time together and such?

If I’m incorrect, and was being paid in exchange for company, then surely she can behave as she wishes. She might have been with you for what she could get, and why wouldn’t she? She sounds like she’s in a vulnerable situation, just as you appear to be. And if she’s not nice, cut her out of your life. 

I dont use a condom with any of these women, I do not like condoms and how they feel. So I go bare with everyone.  And no I do not pull out either, I finish inside the girl.

This is why I am getting a vascetomy in the fall to prevent this from happening again. 

And you dont know the story, this woman (her name is Missy, its ok to use someones first name) really did a lot ot play me and hurt me. She spent christmas with me and would do overnights at my apartment and cook meals for me, real nice and then she turns mean on me. She is the one who should be ashamed cuz she has an autistic son herself (ya she has other kids, some are grown and the ones who are underage were taken away from her cuz of her condition). But her oldest son is autistic and she told me she understands me for that reason, then does this.

And btw this Missy woman is 45, now 46, another reason I am shocked she got pregnant cuz I thought too old.

How dare you comment on her being a drug user and prostitute? You are the one sleeping with her! Didn’t you use a condom? 

I agree with Mariusz, parenthood is relentless even if you’re not a single parent. If the authorities are involved then they may decide it’s best for the child to go into foster care or be adopted. I would be surprised if her medical team aren’t already aware or at least very suspicious of her lifestyle 

are you fit to be dad? are you willing to accept the role and be better dad than your dad?

it's tremendous effort, no breaks, no exceptions, full time 24/7 for 21 years, are you sure it won't feel like it's  a burden? how this kid would feel about it if that was the case?

ask those and many more questions, as many as you can come up first, otherwise you will forever question your choice

in this the only valid quastion is what is best for baby

Worse child support is 21 in my state. So it would be until child is 21. My parents divorced when I was little, and my dad had to pay child support until my 21st birthday. 

Unless I try to get full custody. I mean she is a crack user (yup while pregnant) and a prostitute, so I could try to claim she is unfit to be a mother and get full custody, then she would the one paying me child support???

Simple cuz I can provide a safer and better environment for the child than her. I know my mom got full custody of me, but my mom was a good mother with high values and no issues, huge difference in my case.

if you are really daddy you'll be paying child benefit for the next 18 years, that's the price in this society

I was raised christian too, the same stuff, and my mom constantly nagged me to get a wife and start making babies, I had to cut contact when I was 38, she refused to stop, I decided enough is enough

I had sex once, she moved to US during the week after, so I might be daddy without knowing it

there is good and bad in everyone

what matters is if you do bad to others or you don't

I say: just because everyone does, it doesn't mean I have to

I think its the religious upbringing, me being brainwahsed to wear "wait until your wedding night, the bible commands us to wait" made me very defiant and rebellious

Also I think I sadly I have oppositional defiant in me, i mean I try to be nice but I seem to be drawn to bad and its very difficult for me 

And how do I get out of the situation with the woman and her unborn daughter, if I am the baby daddy? This woman did alot to hurt me and I do not want to be sharing a child with her?  

what do you want to have sex with someone completely unknown to you?

why do you want to have sex so badly?

it won't validate you in any way 

if I did it I would probably feel disgust towards myself after for weeks and fall back into depression, and thinking about going to the other side

what is bad about being and living single?