Published on 12, July, 2020
i know i do the eye contact form of it, because i have to force myself to do it, and my eyes always feel strained.
but i find, when im walking about, that i kind of force an upright posture on myself, and occasionally slip out of it which i notice, then force an upright posture on myself again.
i know that psychologically, its to remove any impression of vulnerability, i have hypervigilance going on in my head i think.
but i do tend to kind of look at the ground if i dont do that, just, instinctively.
ive noticed for years too, that i kind of have a "blank" expression, no Matter how ive felt, from down to angry, although its me thats noticed it not others.
if this sounds a confused ramble, its cos it is lol
sorry, i have read jt, just feeling crap and a that, so going bef now.
thank yiu
Yes, it is, and I’m sure your list is as endless as mine would be. I’m trying to stop. It’s early days, but I’m putting myself first instead of social expectation.
Ha yes I'm the exact same. When I talk to anyone I look at their mouth or forehead, it takes away the pressure for me.
That's masking for sure. You're doing things to be like everyone else, that's masking for you. I do this a lot, just to fit in and be "normal". I notice I skip walk a bit like a child so I try to copy other women how they walk and talk. Masking.
It's good you recognize you're doing it. Masking is exhausting. It causes anxiety. And confusion. But because of pressure you feel you have to do it. Best to try not to though. You don't want burn out and it can lead to that sometimes.
I understand the struggle. I get it most of the time. Masking is easy to do without even realising it.
Take your time with this. You need to do what's right for you and we're here to support you every step of the way.
thank you, its kind of hard to make a choice about it at the moment as in shared temporary accommodation
but thats another story anyway.
thanks
Yeah, all that stuff is masking.
It's exhausting, anxiety inducing and not good for us, but then in some context appearing vulnerable or different also brings dangers.
Tough call; to mask or not to mask. But what is really positive here is that you are identifying the things which you do to mask. This gives you some choices over when and how you want to do that.
I would build in plenty of time for yourself though to be where you want to be, doing what you want to do and with the mask in the bin for a little while.
Eye contact btw can be simulated without actually doing it. I do look at people when I talk to them, but mostly I am looking at the mouth. Some people deliberate pick the ear, forehead or nose.
so essentially, anything i feel im forcing myself to do?
from, putting myself into situations/places im uncomfortable or cant deal well with, to physical/mental impression?
Anything you do to look or appear ‘normal’ to others, or to fit in with others is considered masking. Anything that hides your true self.