Hello all,
It’s been a long time since I last posted here.
I’ve had these particular thoughts for a while now but I really have found they’ve gotten worse and more intense as of recently. The thoughts in question, as the title of the thread states, I worry that I am a failure and will never amount to anything. I worry I will never be able to get a job and I will live a dead-end life for as long as I live.
For some context, I am in my mid-twenties and have a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome, as well as mental health issues in the form of OCD, trauma and general anxiety. I am studying a distance learning course with a university over the internet and have been for the past few years. I was not able to go to a conventional brick and mortar university due to my autism and mental health issues. Furthermore, when I was 18 and finished sixth form college I was a complete emotional, anxious wreck who could barely function properly thanks to the relentless bullying and abuse I faced at the hands of other students when I was in school and indeed sixth form college. As such, I was put on disability benefits for that very reason and have remained on them since.
I’ve become extremely self-conscious of the fact that I haven’t had any form of paid employment at all, even though I’m in my mid twenties. I have been engaged in several voluntary jobs over the course of time since I finished sixth form college, one of which I am still doing at this time. However a perennial worry is that I will be unemployable and won’t ever get a job. I should note as well I have been working with an employment specialist too, so that I may find some permitted work I can do whilst I am still on benefits. As such, I have been to a few job interviews but was unable to get the jobs in question, despite otherwise positive feedback.
I want to know if anyone else is in or has been in similar positions, and if they have any advice for me?
Thank you for reading.