People are so mean

I've had this happen before on Facebook (completely unrelated, on a Game of Thrones fan page, but they asked for people's opinions on something, and I wrote a mini-essay, fact-checking stuff and backing my thoughts up with evidence and quotes from the series, as it was also my hyperfixation at the time). I was told to 'calm down,' followed by a lot of jeering and swearing, and I felt like people hadn't even read my post, but had just reacted to it emotionally. I replied something like "I am calm, why aren't you?" - asking a genuine question, as I was confused, and wanted to know why I'd upset them. But of course that kicked an argument off. In the end, it was just frustrating, that everything I wrote, in my head, sounded logical and unemotional, but they had added emotion to it, which made it sound somehow passive-aggressive, or like I was trying to show off with my 'superior knowledge,' and prove them wrong, which wasn't the case at all. I was just answering the question. Either people don't like that, or they see it as a competitive invitation.. Either some people are just mean, like you say, or it might be NTs can sometimes react defensively to NDs 'info dumping,' as they get overwhelmed by facts, when they just wanted something like "I agree because I've had a positive experience" or "I don't agree, it sucks." When they say the word "opinion," maybe they're just looking for simple, impulsive reactions, rather than an in-depth discussion? But it's hard to tell. Because there are the rare occasions people might appreciate a fuller reply. Do we need to start asking "would you like a long answer or a short one?" Or adding notes to the end of our posts, saying something like "I am autistic and this happens to be a special interest and something I have studied extensively, but I mean no offence and respect alternative viewpoints?" I'm not sure. Facebook can be rife for argumentative types, but also it could just be down to miscommunication due to it being difficult to read the intended emotion from writing.. We shouldn't have to hide our true thoughts, but maybe it's just seeking clarity as to what people are looking for, and whether they'd appreciate what we have to offer or not? It's a shame to waste your time, energy, and expertise, trying to explain something to people who don't want to listen. Otherwise, if I feel I must reply, I've got into the habit of sending my post and not checking back / switching off notifications. I've said my piece, it's up to others how they want to interpret it.  

Hi, I can relate to this. You haven't done anything wrong and you couldn't have known they were anti-vax. sadly in my experience, scientific arguments usually do not seem to have any effect on people that are anti-vax... but regardless of that it is not right of them to react in such an aggressive way... 

I actually recently lived in a temporary flat-share with a person that turned out to be anti-vax and had some very concerning medical views- even worse this person was apparently a fully qualified doctor abroad and upon passing a language test and conversion test was hoping to start practicing medicine in this country.... It made me very upset that someone like that would be allowed to see patients soon and would possibly spread her opinions to them. I once made the mistake of trying to talk to her about her opinions and ended up getting into an argument with her... I'm not a medical professional but I am a neuroscientist so I also like science and I tried to reason with her from a scientific/rational viewpoint but unfortunately it was futile :( and in the end it turned into an argument (with me ending up saying that I thought it was criminal that she would be allowed to see patients... which I know was not a wise thing to say.) After that I never tried to talk to her anymore about her views...

I am really sorry this has happened to you- it is so frustrating and very unfair that they treated you so badly especially when they explicitly asked for people's opinion on the topic of vaccines.... 

And I totally agree with "if you don’t know what RNA is you shouldn’t pretend to know how RNA vaccines work". 

It's sad that people can be so mean and that there is so much aggression on this world. But you are not alone!! Also if you are ever in need to have a discussion about science with a fellow scientist, I am always up for that :). 

Somewhere I read/heard that a lot people who follow things like antivax etc think they are making rational decisions about things but they’re actually making emotional decisions so it will be hard to have a debate with them about it as they’ll find it hard to stay calm. It is also true that the vast majority of people had no idea RNA existed before the Pfizer vaccine and also don’t understand what it does they think it changes your DNA in a sinister way. I’m trying to remember where I heard that now about the decision making. Might be from a colleague whose husband is a neuroscience research professor. Facebook was a mad place in 2020 people were sharing so much stupid I know a lot of doctors and medical colleagues who deleted their accounts. I know it’s upsetting to feel attacked especially over a special interest but the best thing to do I find to avoid conflict is to try and ignore it for at least a couple of hours or overnight. Then decide if I still want to respond, which after that delay is more likely to be a response than a reaction. If you’re having these situations on social media a lot and it’s affecting your mental health it’s probably not a bad idea to try having a break from it