Chronic Fatigue?

Hi Billy. I really appreciate you creating this thread, which is to our mutual benefit perhaps as I can absolutely identify with much of that and am having the 'thank god it's not just me' reaction that I hope you will also experience when you read this. 

I'm 44 but since even my teenage years I've found that I burn out my batteries extremely fast, needing regular rest periods and naps to re-charge. Pre-diagnosis, I put it down to being at the fairly extreme end of the introversion scale, which remains true of course - just with more context. I work full-time Mon-Fri 9-5 - it's basically a desk job- and by the time I get home I'm pretty exhausted mentally and from the sensory inputs that are part of the ebb and flow of an offiice where the majority prefer things differently from how I'd ideally have them (no noisy cold fans going, or open windows, or harsh overhead lighting, etc.) and if I'm not ready to lie down and sleep, I know I will spark out immediately after my dinner. I could sleep on and off quite easily over the course of a weekday evening. While I do then drift past midnight before I go to bed, once I go over I go deep - and really need a good 6-7 hours.

On weekends or holidays, I could lie in for a long time- midday sometimes- though admittedly often having stayed up into the small hours. One thing I notice is that small amounts of housework or garden work can exhaust me to the point where I need to sleep for an hour afterwards - it descends like a curtain as soon as I sit down or lie down again. I usually feel lightly refreshed afterwards - to begin with- but it does mean that I have to audit my energy carefully and realistically. I would go for more walks and things if I wasn't mostly in an energy defecit the majority of the time.

At times in the past, I've felt guilty about it as I'm consious of how active other people are - doing umpteen things at the weekends, doing evening classes, giving their time to good causes etc. But there's no point in trying to be what I'm not - someone with surplus physical and mental energy to invest substantially in these things. I do still occasionally go out with a friend or two to a show, and have joined one or two support groups (eg. social anxiety) in the past that required semi-regular attendance - and I may volunteer in the future if I can find something that isn't unrealistically taxing.But otherwise, I have to accept that I'm designed for life in the slow, and sleepy, lane - an offset to the externally invisible but nonetheless continuous drain on my mind, body, and soul, that being well camoflaged necessitates me to be plugged into. 

I think it's helpful that you make the distinction between this shared issue and burnout, which feels like its own additional layer. I experienced something very like a shutdown/meltwon hybrid three Fridays ago and not only did my frantic brain seek escape, via exhaustion, into a very deep sleep as soon as I got home, but I had flu-like symptoms with it - shivering, fever, couldn't get enough heat into me. It's happened before when a day has been especially difficult due to triggers coinciding with other mental/physical demands. 

But the more regular, persistent, fatigue, is something in its own right. That thing that stops me from reading as much as I'd like, or making more efficient (though maybe by only an NT definition) use of my time. In some ways it's more of a friend than an enemy - if regular oblivion wasn't pretty much guaranteed, my anxiety would pull me under. As it is, I get mini-comas at very frequent intervals. A bodily-imposed imposed briefly restorative state of sorts. For which I am mostly grateful. 

Hi Billy. I really appreciate you creating this thread, which is to our mutual benefit perhaps as I can absolutely identify with much of that and am having the 'thank god it's not just me' reaction that I hope you will also experience when you read this. 

I'm 44 but since even my teenage years I've found that I burn out my batteries extremely fast, needing regular rest periods and naps to re-charge. Pre-diagnosis, I put it down to being at the fairly extreme end of the introversion scale, which remains true of course - just with more context. I work full-time Mon-Fri 9-5 - it's basically a desk job- and by the time I get home I'm pretty exhausted mentally and from the sensory inputs that are part of the ebb and flow of an offiice where the majority prefer things differently from how I'd ideally have them (no noisy cold fans going, or open windows, or harsh overhead lighting, etc.) and if I'm not ready to lie down and sleep, I know I will spark out immediately after my dinner. I could sleep on and off quite easily over the course of a weekday evening. While I do then drift past midnight before I go to bed, once I go over I go deep - and really need a good 6-7 hours.

On weekends or holidays, I could lie in for a long time- midday sometimes- though admittedly often having stayed up into the small hours. One thing I notice is that small amounts of housework or garden work can exhaust me to the point where I need to sleep for an hour afterwards - it descends like a curtain as soon as I sit down or lie down again. I usually feel lightly refreshed afterwards - to begin with- but it does mean that I have to audit my energy carefully and realistically. I would go for more walks and things if I wasn't mostly in an energy defecit the majority of the time.

At times in the past, I've felt guilty about it as I'm consious of how active other people are - doing umpteen things at the weekends, doing evening classes, giving their time to good causes etc. But there's no point in trying to be what I'm not - someone with surplus physical and mental energy to invest substantially in these things. I do still occasionally go out with a friend or two to a show, and have joined one or two support groups (eg. social anxiety) in the past that required semi-regular attendance - and I may volunteer in the future if I can find something that isn't unrealistically taxing.But otherwise, I have to accept that I'm designed for life in the slow, and sleepy, lane - an offset to the externally invisible but nonetheless continuous drain on my mind, body, and soul, that being well camoflaged necessitates me to be plugged into. 

I think it's helpful that you make the distinction between this shared issue and burnout, which feels like its own additional layer. I experienced something very like a shutdown/meltwon hybrid three Fridays ago and not only did my frantic brain seek escape, via exhaustion, into a very deep sleep as soon as I got home, but I had flu-like symptoms with it - shivering, fever, couldn't get enough heat into me. It's happened before when a day has been especially difficult due to triggers coinciding with other mental/physical demands. 

But the more regular, persistent, fatigue, is something in its own right. That thing that stops me from reading as much as I'd like, or making more efficient (though maybe by only an NT definition) use of my time. In some ways it's more of a friend than an enemy - if regular oblivion wasn't pretty much guaranteed, my anxiety would pull me under. As it is, I get mini-comas at very frequent intervals. A bodily-imposed imposed briefly restorative state of sorts. For which I am mostly grateful. 

P.S. like you I am teetotal (some 20 years now) and am careful with diet, being gluten free and having issues with inflammation to other things too. Bodily inflammation and connective tissue sensitivity seems to go hand in hand with autism, and it sometimes feels like even a disciplined diet is sustaining worse overall health than a poorer diet does in many people with none of these issues.