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Relationship

Poppet

Hi there. I'm new here and am having a problem in my relationship. The main problem is that I don't like or feel anything for him. Because of my autism I feel very little about anyone, I just don't get attached. But also I am masking pretty much all the time so I don't think that helps either but if I don't mask I crash and burn so it's got to be done. The other more recent problem with my relationship is that I think it's become abusive and a bit toxic and cruel. Last night my boyfriend ran me down and embarrassed me in front of his friends and they all laughed at me. And he knows I hate being touched unless I'm feeling in a really good place and happy, and last night I wasn't but he intentionally touched me all over, not sexually, but he still did touched my skin and hair which really upset me. I want to leave but I've got no job, no money as such not enough to live on. I literally depend on him for almost everything. I don't know what to do for the best.

Parents

  • Hi, welcome to the group. You have taken the first step by realising that you need to get out. The above comment sounds to be a good starting point. I’ve been married for 30 years, my wife still always asks before hugging or touching me. Do you have any family at all who could help? I would spend my time getting a plan into place. I know it’s easier said than done. Have a look online at womens help and refuge services.

Reply

  • Hi, welcome to the group. You have taken the first step by realising that you need to get out. The above comment sounds to be a good starting point. I’ve been married for 30 years, my wife still always asks before hugging or touching me. Do you have any family at all who could help? I would spend my time getting a plan into place. I know it’s easier said than done. Have a look online at womens help and refuge services.

Children
  • in reply to Roy

    Hi, I find that I choke when trying to talk on phones or video call. I often make notes, it’s a big help. Don’t obviously leave any notes lying  around. Write all that you have just told us in an email and send it to some support groups. You will find that they do understand. None of this is your fault. No relationship should be toxic.

  • in reply to Roy

    Hi, thanks. It's annoying because I know I need to get away but I've now realised I have no where else to go so that's a problem. I don't have a job or an income so I'm not sure what to do. I did phone up but I got so anxious I couldn't speak so I'm waiting to calm down and then I will try again later this afternoon. Aw congrats to you and your wife, she sounds lovely and very thoughtful and understanding. When I first got in this relationship things were like that but I don't know things have somehow changed now. I've no family to reach out to, not that are close. My dad and I aren't close anymore and I lost my mum when I was 19 sadly. I will keep looking online for support for this.