Going on holiday

I get this alot when with girlfriend I did the same holiday routine I did as a child but now I have responsibility I have do spur if the moment the more time I have thing the more anxious I get 

• I get this so much I think it's the add pressure if wanting them be happy and worrying about them. When your on your own you can zone out onto the things you like 

Yes - lots of research! The internet makes this so much easier to do thankfully.

Hi Billy,

I think after years of traveling I now have this down to a fine art. First of all, it is in the detail .... which we are experts at! This is a massive strength for us in this area. Work out exactly what it is that causes you stress and then find the solution. For example, I know that if my comfort needs are compromised, it causes me massive stress. I don't like traveling to long without a break for refreshments, loo etc, so I plan to stop depending on where I am going (usually 2-3 hours of traveling). If you are in an airport, see if they have a 'quiet' area or pay for the lounge if able - it is a lot calmer with comfort and refreshments too). If you are staying in a hotel - look on TripAdvisor for review tips from travellers, you can use the search tool for specifics. I don't like road noise, so I enter that and it is a problem I will go elsewhere. You can also contact the property ahead and state that you have a disability, they are usually very accommodating. If you get this in writing and things change on arrival, it gives you some leverage which they have to correct . This has happened to me and again it has all been resolved well. Google Earth satellite is great for depicting the location too. If I stay at a letting accommodation, you can usually see pictures online, even on multiple sites. I usually take my own pillow and case, as comfort again is important to me. Take your own little comforts, it makes all the difference. Expect the unexpected, but if you have ways of reducing the stress, you will gain so many benefits of exploring the world. Get out there and enjoy life, it is so precious and gone all too soon :)

I have been to toads of places over the last 30 years (US x5, India, Caribbean, much of Europe) and I have got worse at travelling as I get older. I always like to know where I am in relation to safe places, like the hotel or the airport, I always go to places where English is mostly spoken and don't go away from the tourist areas. 

At airports I am always there mega early, just in case. I hate travelling in groups of more than 4 and I have to try and make sure I have some control. I think you probably need some small group escorted tours, or maybe a river cruise. Doing it yourself would probably not work for you.

I also find that having a car is better for me than public transport as there’s privacy, more control and more freedom when you drive. I learnt to drive very late in life (in my early thirties) and it took me ages to learn (i failed my test many times too as I was massively stressed by taking the test with someone I didn’t know in the car - I found that incredibly difficult) - but the car is massively important to me. It allows me to go to places either very early or very late so that we can visit places when they’re quiet and there aren’t too many people. Also so get to really rural quiet places I find I need a car to do that. 

That said I used to love going on trains and I really miss that. They’re massively expensive now though in the U.K. if you’re going long distance. 

We’ve gone to same camping site in Cornwall every year for about 15 years and we even camp in the same pitch  on the campsite. I realise it sounds boring but it’s like a second home to us now. We do go to lots of other places at other times too though! 

no

I've not been abroad on holiday, similar reasons - anxieties of the whole trip, coping by myself in a foreign land, and not good at organising myself.  I never minded being away from home within the UK, just got on with it, but still had anxiety about what might happen, or how I would get back.  I prefer driving because I'm in control, and in my own space, whereas buses/trains/plans are really difficult and I have to manage the whole trip which is draining.

I have been abroad a couple of times for work reasons, and that was really though, in and the deep end stuff.

If its something you are driven to do then go for it, but you will have to manage yourself the whole trip so maybe get some practice in - try a trip in the UK first, get used to coping.  Its usually the thoughts and feels we don't manage well that make it all difficult.

Hi, it’s a subject that I’ve always struggled with, did my first foreign trip a few weeks ago with my wife. I looked online at a video and photos of the hotel and area so I knew what my surroundings would look like.I booked a room with a bath, I know mad but important to me. I bought some noise cancelling earphones for the flight, they were brilliant. we took audio books and my favourite slippers! I normally get to day three then shutdown and end up in bed for 2 days. I know that by day 5 I then only have 48 till I’m back in my surroundings, anyway it’s the first time we have been away with me knowing that I’m autistic. I find long walks a great help so that’s what we did. I got through day three quite well, found it was better to leave alcohol alone. Most probably only person to go all inclusive and drink lemonade. Only had one meltdown which was when I couldn’t find any food that I could tolerate in the restaurant and there were too many people near to me. We found it nice to walk along the beach and eat at quiet restaurants. The earphones  made it possible for me to listen to uk radio.  I prefer to go and look at something, 10 minutes on a sun lounger and brain is getting restless.
I tried a small experiment when going through the airports, the crowds at airports make me very anxious.  I wore a small glass button badge with the symbol for autism on it. A member of the airlines staff took us to a check in desk, the lady at the desk spoke to me by my first name and asked if I was okay. It wasn’t in a patronising way. When going through Spanish passport control, the officer did exactly the same and wished my a nice holiday, normally lucky to get a grunt. It seems that training is starting to make a difference or more people have contact with autistic people. Sorry for the essay, it’s just been a subject I have been thinking about for a while.

I also struggle with holidays and the only holidays I ever go on are hiking tours (hut to hut hikes). Those holidays are actually very freeing for me as I can plan meticulously and as there is a very simple and predictable routine each day with no complex choices. 

I presume having a "holiday routine" is going to be hard for you as you are planning to explore different places? (When I was younger, we always went on holiday to the same place which made it easier as the holiday destination became like a second home with a set routine)

Can you maybe take along something familiar to make it feel less unfamiliar? (eg. your favourite tea bags or biscuits) Not sure if that could be helpful... 

Yes my wife and young son. Wierdly I get far less nervous going places by myself, I think its because then I only have myself to think of and not anyone else to worry about if that makes sense 

Some of this could be quite helpful to me, like maybe if i could see pictures of the hotel room before I go there so I could visualise myself there, stuff like that. The google earth idea is really good too

Do you have someone to travel abroad with? Maybe they could share the load? They might like the planning part and take on that role and you could contribute something else? 

I do still get tense even if I do plan - that’s true! But travelling without planning would be massively stressful for me. I even go on google earth to find exactly the place I’m going to park the car before I go somewhere. I go on street view and even look at how wide the road is - and look on council websites to see what the parking fee is and whether they take cash or card etc. I’m really paranoid about parking.

spend an age of tripadvisor too before I go somewhere. 

The only trouble with me is that the more I plan something the more nervous I seem to get. 
The only way I can have days out in this country is to do it spur of the moment on the day, if I decide to go somehwere in advance I have a panic attack and cant go. Unfortunatley, this doesnt work with going abroad as I have to decide in advance 

Planning - lots and lots and lots of detailed advance planning.