Therapy

Start online then, but online dating can be tough and a minefield, so try other places to build your confidence and learn about the dangers of online dating, and how to be confident with other people.  Confidence is attractive.  You might come across others who aren't that confident though.

Social media sites/apps can help you connect with similar people, and people that inspire you, put you and your story out into the world.  Twitter is great for discussions and following people who discuss things, I recommend that - plenty of autistic people talking about autism, but also other things.  These aren't dating sites though, keep it respectful - though it could lead to friendships/relationships over time, but not if forced on people.

Hello! 

Yeah, my therapist said online is good too, as I want to try to venture into the dating world again, and lacking in confidence. Dating is very virtual these days also I suppose! 

Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out what my 'thing' is, my depression convinces me that I hate everything and enjoy nothing which I suppose is common! 

Step one: find something I enjoy! haha

Hello! 

Yes, the thought is to do something like that. I like history, but not sure yet that there's much scope for Titanic related groups in my area (there's always hope though)! 

It also comes down to depression and lack of motivation, once I finish work/uni, I just want to sleep as much as possible and can never get the energy to do something for my self. 

Hello, volunteering is something I have thought about. I currently work 45 hours a week and then 20 hours, give or take of university so I have to make sure I really enjoy what I pick. 

Our discussions in the sessions revolved more around finding someone that potentially in the future could be a romantic relationship. 

I just need to get the energy to do something as that's the problem with the depression, I struggle to get motivated for anything outside of work. 

Fortunately I have that task sorted doing 45 hours a week plus uni. I just need to make sure my ‘hobby’ etc is perfect as I don’t have a lot of free time to waste. 

This is great advice. My son wants to make friends (he struggles at college as he has Selective Mutism when in college (his SM is setting specific to education). He could try things like this - if he can find the courage (he is very anxious about meeting people but really does want to have friends and a girlfriend). 

Hi.  Think of things you could do that are just outside your comfort zone, not too challenging, and as easy as possible to do.

Not sure if the therapist would accept online socialising but you could put that down and see, that could be here or social media, maybe setup an online group about something you are interest in.

Offline, you could volunteer - find something local that you could help with, that you are interested in.

Do a course somewhere, in something you are interested in.

Join a local group - walking, DIY, gardening, history, reading, have a look what is going on.

Depression can make it difficult to enjoy things, but many people do the things above because of depression and other health problems, so you might share that and it might help you feel better.

For now you just need a list of things to do, so focus on that and then discuss them with your therapist.

Find a job? 

I've often been told that a "shared endeavour" is one of the best ways to meet people.

It means that you are both/all working towards the same goal or collectively producing something and it means that the focus of your interaction is not a full on attempt to engage with other people, the focus is whatever you are doing, but instead working / learning side by side.

I tried loads of things like: French classes; beginners fencing; amateur choir, donkey sanctuary, sailing club...  (don't get me wrong - loads of time it was a bust!)

Are you into any type of arts or music? Or environment (beach clean / woodland volounteering)?

The main thing is that there are some other people and the focus is about what you are all doing (also you can totally dodge pointless small talk ....)

Hi - I’m sorry you’re experiencing depression. It’s good that you’re able to access therapy - I hope it’s helping? You could do some voluntary work somewhere maybe? There are lots of volunteering opportunities listed online - or you could approach somewhere that interests you - just in case they had opportunities. It’s good to have a purpose when meeting people if you find socialising difficult.