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Feeling alone in a busy world

Dani

Im 29 and only been diagnosed since October though I’ve always known deep down. 

But I feel like I’m struggling. I crave friendships and attention and a ‘best friend’ bur I find Im often very lazy when it comes to staying in contact with people. I also find with being autistic I become obsessed with the friends I have and want to be their number one which feels very embarrassing to admit at 29. 

i just feel very alone as I don’t really know anyone else who is autistic and I feel non autistic people just don’t get me. 

  • in reply to James

    Yeah, here is good, should have added that.

  • Hi Dani, and welcome.

    Like the earlier posters above, I particularly hear your second paragraph. I have periods where I overexert myself to try and be the 'great friend' - often at the expense of the friendship. And there are other friends I haven't heard from for years who all of a sudden are close and friendly and helpful. It is confusing, but people are confusing.

    mentioned:

    Autimator said:
    It can really help to spend time being your true self, even if not all the time, and engage with others doing the same - you won't feel so alone then.

    And this is good advice - but also, perhaps, find spaces - like here - where you can be your true self socially. It is less exhausting.

  • I think a lot of autistic adults can relate - hence the website wrongplanet.net.  When you are autistic it can be hard to get to know people, and then even harder to keep interacting - friendships are hard to make, hard to maintain, and can easily disappear.

    Its difficult when autistic, because most people out there are not autistic, you have to put yourself in places they are, or get to know them online etc.  And even then, it doesn't mean friendships happen - two autistic people could get on, or they could just not engage.

    Its best to engage in autism-friendly places like this, or with autistic people on social media - but have separate accounts for social media if you want to keep things apart from non-autistic people in your life.

    It can really help to spend time being your true self, even if not all the time, and engage with others doing the same - you won't feel so alone then.

  • I was obsessed about having so many friends, but it was superficial. 

    Now, I have a select number of close friends I can contact. 

  • I totally agree with your middle paragraph - I wish I knew what to do about it too!