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Trouble eating

Rainbowgirl

I have a very big struggle eating food. There are times I can enjoy food... but mostly I am very overwhelmed by the textures and end up almost throwing it back up. My average attempt at eating involves me gagging at multiple points unless it's a small snack.

A lot of times in my life people have accused me of restricting my eating on purpose to be skinny. Truth is that I HATE being skinny, I hate my body and I wish that I had a more normal/healthy looking one. I often force myself to eat to try and solve this problem but there's only so much I can do before it makes me sick and my attempt is for nothing. So many days I have to just settle and accept that I can't eat as much as I want to.

It is a sensory issue around food 100%. I often wish that I could consume my calories in a liquid form only so that I wouldn't have to go through the painful process of eating. I'm amazed and jealous of those who enjoy eating, even those who enjoy it so much they find it hard to stop, it's just like the reverse of my situation. 

I don't even have "safe" foods, some are worse than others that I have to completely avoid but any texture in my mouth can set it off. 

I have briefly approached the subject with my doctor but have had it misunderstood completely so I stopped mentioning it. I feel like I'm stuck.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you overcome it?

  • in reply to LucyLandRover

    Thank you I actually love peanut butter too so I will check that out. I'm sorry to hear you had similar struggles. I actually struggled to get over 50kg for a long time and am sitting just above that mark after a lot of effort. However I am not tall but still it is not a good weight for my height.

  • in reply to Catlover

    Yes unfortunately that diagnosis is what I was given which ultimately made me stop mentioning it to my GP. Because I know I don't have that whatsoever. 

    ARFID really fits me and I didn't know it existed until today. I like that the distinction is made that it is not related to body image. 

  • in reply to LucyLandRover

    I glad you mentioned this. ARFID is something which many Autistic people have, and they don’t even realise it. It’s quite a new diagnosis (I think). My niece has it. 
    Many girls are diagnosed with Anorexia instead of ARFID, because no one knows much about it, and it’s easy to label girls with these types of things instead of getting down to the root of the problem!

  • in reply to Rainbowgirl

    Hello,

    I understand your feelings towards being labeled. I too have struggled with putting weight on and at one point was down to 54kg which was worrying as I lacked energy at times. I do hope you are able to find food options that are more palatable. I discovered Pip And Nut  peanut butter and order it by the boxful now as I love the flavor.     

  • in reply to Dawn

    Thank you those are great ideas and I'm sorry that you also suffer when you eat.

    I'll look more into the liquid diet. I have been making smoothies but sometimes even those are hard to drink since it's not liquid enough for me. I'll definitely look into the supplements and maybe I can even get something prescribed if I give the GP a second chance. (I know that medical drinks for weight gain exist, they are ideal but really expensive to buy without prescription)

     I am iron deficient from my last blood test but I do take iron supplements. 

  • in reply to LucyLandRover

    Thank you, this is really interesting and I appreciate your input. I've always been adverse to being labeled as having an eating disorder because I associated it with purposeful restriction to lose weight which is NOT what I am doing. I desperately want to gain weight and just struggle to consume enough food. I was surprised to see sensory issues listed on this website, though I would still prefer to not use that term (due to past experiences being told I have an eating disorder is like an insult to me) I will approach it with a more open mind in future. 

    I was surprised to see that all of the issues on that listing are relevant to my experience. I have sensory issues around food, it causes me to vomit which is distressing and sometimes I don't even notice my hunger.

  • My problems don't seem to be as bad as yours by any means, but I had significant problems with food as a kid and again now since they took some of my teeth out. The sensations in my mouth when I eat are horrible.

    Your ideas about liquids could help to get the calories in though. You do need solids, of course, but instead of trying big meals, manage as many little healthy snacks as you can tolerate in a day. But on top of that you could try blending stuff to make smoothies, or you could go to the pharmacy or Holland and Barrat for supplements that are in liquid form.

    It might be worth talking to your GP again. You don't need psychological inputs around this, but I gather an occupational therapist can help you slowly expand the sensory diet to tolerate a few more things and a dietitian could help you plan to make sure any smoothies you make and the supplements are covering all the right food groups to cover the right vits and protines. I should think they should also be monitoring your bloods for vits and iron etc.

  • Hello Rainbowgirl,

    I am sorry to read about your problems with food and I can relate to this as I too have suffered all my life with food textures. Trying to explain to others is more of an issue as I was labeled a fussy eater. I have experimented and have found a small selection of foods I like. I find eating small portions works well as I am unable to eat large amounts. I cycle a lot and find this seems to help settle my stomach. I tend to eat more to fuel this activity so that helps me when selecting food. Eating out is not something I do verry often due to finding somewhere that is willing to serve small portions but I have found a nice restaurant that is willing so that is something worth  trying. Have you heard of the term AFRID? This covers all my food issues and there is a good website that has lots of information.

    https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/about-eating-disorders/types/arfid/