Trouble eating

I have a very big struggle eating food. There are times I can enjoy food... but mostly I am very overwhelmed by the textures and end up almost throwing it back up. My average attempt at eating involves me gagging at multiple points unless it's a small snack.

A lot of times in my life people have accused me of restricting my eating on purpose to be skinny. Truth is that I HATE being skinny, I hate my body and I wish that I had a more normal/healthy looking one. I often force myself to eat to try and solve this problem but there's only so much I can do before it makes me sick and my attempt is for nothing. So many days I have to just settle and accept that I can't eat as much as I want to.

It is a sensory issue around food 100%. I often wish that I could consume my calories in a liquid form only so that I wouldn't have to go through the painful process of eating. I'm amazed and jealous of those who enjoy eating, even those who enjoy it so much they find it hard to stop, it's just like the reverse of my situation. 

I don't even have "safe" foods, some are worse than others that I have to completely avoid but any texture in my mouth can set it off. 

I have briefly approached the subject with my doctor but have had it misunderstood completely so I stopped mentioning it. I feel like I'm stuck.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you overcome it?

Parents
  • Hello Rainbowgirl,

    I am sorry to read about your problems with food and I can relate to this as I too have suffered all my life with food textures. Trying to explain to others is more of an issue as I was labeled a fussy eater. I have experimented and have found a small selection of foods I like. I find eating small portions works well as I am unable to eat large amounts. I cycle a lot and find this seems to help settle my stomach. I tend to eat more to fuel this activity so that helps me when selecting food. Eating out is not something I do verry often due to finding somewhere that is willing to serve small portions but I have found a nice restaurant that is willing so that is something worth  trying. Have you heard of the term AFRID? This covers all my food issues and there is a good website that has lots of information.

    https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/about-eating-disorders/types/arfid/

  • Thank you, this is really interesting and I appreciate your input. I've always been adverse to being labeled as having an eating disorder because I associated it with purposeful restriction to lose weight which is NOT what I am doing. I desperately want to gain weight and just struggle to consume enough food. I was surprised to see sensory issues listed on this website, though I would still prefer to not use that term (due to past experiences being told I have an eating disorder is like an insult to me) I will approach it with a more open mind in future. 

    I was surprised to see that all of the issues on that listing are relevant to my experience. I have sensory issues around food, it causes me to vomit which is distressing and sometimes I don't even notice my hunger.

  • Hello,

    I understand your feelings towards being labeled. I too have struggled with putting weight on and at one point was down to 54kg which was worrying as I lacked energy at times. I do hope you are able to find food options that are more palatable. I discovered Pip And Nut  peanut butter and order it by the boxful now as I love the flavor.     

Reply
  • Hello,

    I understand your feelings towards being labeled. I too have struggled with putting weight on and at one point was down to 54kg which was worrying as I lacked energy at times. I do hope you are able to find food options that are more palatable. I discovered Pip And Nut  peanut butter and order it by the boxful now as I love the flavor.     

Children