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Father who I struggling with his sons autism.

NAS76880

I am called M

My son is being assessed for ASD and I am struggling to cope with how to look after him. I bought a book but it barely scratched the surface and left me more confused.

I really struggle with him and it I feel like a rubbish dad because I dont do much with him as I dont know what to do.

This has caused my marriage to his mum to fall apart and I need help desperately.

Does anyone know any resources or help in the greater Manchester area please?

Thanks in advance

M

  • I'm both autistic and the father of an autistic daughter and there really is no ''single best way' of being a parent. Researching autism is good, 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome' by Tony Attwood, is probably the best single volume (though 'Asperger's' is in the title it is relevant to ASD). Autistics are people, and autistic children are children; giving any child a stable, loving home is the best thing to do. 

  • Hi M,

    Sorry to hear what a difficult time you are having. I'm afraid I can't help in terms of resources and it's difficult to understand exactly what you're going through without the specifics but I do know that having an Autistic child is an ongoing struggle. I know what it's like to sit there wondering if you will ever get through whatever difficult patch you're in at the time. I also know that when you do make those breakthroughs, when they find a new food they like, when they are suddenly able to do things independently or make a connection with you that you haven't had before, it feels like winning the lottery! I wish you both the best and hope you have plenty of wins coming!

  • Hello ,

    I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time with your son. As it sounds like you are in the process of seeking an autism diagnosis, you may find the following page our website useful: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/post-diagnosis-support 

    Individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies. You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour 

     

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/directory 

     

    You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice: 

     https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk.  They also have an information and support service which you can contact by phone or email – details can be found here: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/for-family-carers/family-support-service/ 

    I hope this helps,

    ChloeMod 

  • M,

    Ask me any questions about autism and what difficulties your son's displaying, I may be able to share solutions to any issues.

    I've researched autism for 21 year's listening to people all over the spectrum. I've read about all the neurological differences that help provide solutions to how to help autistic children learn and understand things.

    I'm autistic myself so as well as research I experience and know what being autistic is like.

    Don't feel like a bad dad, the fact you haven't left or disowned your son it makes you a good dad. My mother wanted to disown me but my dad wouldn't disown me which is one reason why I love him.