Decisions and Decision Making

Hi Everyone, 

I've always struggled with decision making even over really little things. Once when I was a kid I broke down crying at the store because I couldn't decide between two toys I wanted when I only had enough money saved for one. I've taken to doing research for big, non spur of the moment purchases. And if I do find myself in a decision where I have to make a more or less uneducated choice I tend to list pros and cons and debate with myself for a really long time. Well, I guess I do that with educated decisions too. That's why I like things that are one of a kind, like books. If I don't get one on that trip, I'll go back for it later because no matter how much I read, I'll never read the exact same story twice so purchasing more of them is worth it. But two laptops, two beds, two tvs, two backpacks, etc... none of it is worth it. There's only so much money in the world. 

Right now I'm prepping to make decisions about college. I'm based in the US and where you go for higher education can sometimes determine the path of the rest of your life and its a lot. I'm still waiting on acceptances from a few schools, but from one of the schools I have been accepted to has offered me a lot of money to go there. Great thing, right? Only it's not the college I really, really want to go to. I have so many things racing through my mind starting with "what if I'm not accepted into my top school?" And "what if they don't offer me as great of a scholarship?" And "what if I go to this other school but I end up not being happy?" And "What if I go to my dream school and spend all that money, but its not a dream come true?" It's a lot. I don't know how to manage all of it or how to make a decision in the end.

Does anyone have any decision making advice? Not about college, but in general, things that work for you. I'm willing to try just about anything except randomly choosing something. I'll probably have a break down if I randomly choose something. I don't want to spend the rest of my life struggling through hard decisions like this, getting anxious, sick, and fixated. I've tried asking my therapist, but she looks at everything through a trauma lens rather than a "me" lens. Therefore unless I'm having flashbacks or struggling a lot with my PTSD when I talk to her, she's very unhelpful. 

Thank you. Sorry if I rambled too much.