Decisions and Decision Making

Hi- I can relate to this so much - I struggle a lot with decision making- about small things or big things and it can cause a lot of anxiety. The hardest decisions are often those where all options seem good or all options bad. It’s harder to use logic then and overthinking can make it very hard to try and follow your instincts. There are a few things that help me though. I like to write down all the pros and cons for each option. Ideally do this relatively quickly without too much thinking while writing it down (you’ll probably already have done lots of thinking already)- I often do this on my phone while walking. Then I give each pro and con a score from 0 to 100 with 100 meaning it is extremely important and 0 being not important at all. Make sure there are no duplicate points in your list. Do this for all your options . The for each option add up all the scores for pros  and add up all the cons. Substract the cons score from the pro score to give you an overall rating for esch option. - this can sometimes yield surprising results with 1 option scoring much higher or lower than all the others, even though I hadn’t realised before that there was a preference. The reason this approach can help is because you consider all the points and give them a rating/weight. If you just think through all the positives and negatives in your head it can be very overwhelming and hard to get the overall picture as there can be so many factors to consider. 
It can help to talk through it with others but I would be careful- because I realised that I can rationalise any choice and it might not be what I actually want- so if people don’t know me well they will think that is the option I want when in fact it might not be. It can help to talk to people you know well. 
also have you tried flipping a coin? I wouldn’t recommend using this to take final decision but sometimes when you do this you will find yourself hoping for a certain outcome or feeling disappointed or relieved depending on how it lands- this is a way to trick yourself into listening to your instinct. 
Also sometimes it can help to accumulate more information- i know people often say this is excessive and unnecessary but I have found that sometimes it is better to give in to that desire because ultimately it may speed things up and you will feel more informed and safer with your choice because you spent that extra time doing your research.

finally take a step away from the decision if you can. go for a walk, do something else. Sometimes this helps process things and you will be able to think more clearly. 

not sure if any of this helps - it’s not like I am great at making decisions …I hope you make a choice you are happy with!! And finally, remember that there are few things that are irreversible. Someone said this to me once when agonising over a decision and it is true in a way or at least if one thing doesn’t work out there are always opportunities to change and try something else. As long as you do take a decision. I think the worst is when you end up paralysed and just don’t pick. You’ll feel better once you have made a choice!

Tennzy69 said:

Make a list of what truly matters to you in a college – location, programs, vibe. Then weigh your options against those criteria.

Make a list of what truly matters to you in a college – location, programs, vibe. Then weigh your options against those criteria. And remember, no decision is set in stone! Your path can change, and you can learn and grow wherever you go. As for general advice, I lean on intuition. Sometimes your gut knows what's best. Finally, you can even [link removed by moderator] That helps me sometimes.

Make a list of what truly matters to you in a college – location, programs, vibe. Then weigh your options against those criteria.

Oh, I understand hw hard it is. But follow your heart, adnd it will be fine

I used to be decisive but nowadays I'm not sure.

Yet another post that just shows how different we all are!

I'm extremely decisive, almost to a fault. I'll frequently feel that decisions should be taken on the basis of the data available right now.  

Endless effort to collect additional information takes time, and I'm often time-poor.  Not making a decision constitutes a decision to spend a resource (time) which I'm frequently short of.

Making the wrong decision is usually less damaging than making no decision at all. Clearly, that's not always true, but my anecdotal experience is that it's true, for me, more often than not.   

Fast decision-making enables you to capitalise on opportunity.

In fact, not making a decision is, in itself, a decision.  Sometimes, 'no decision' is actually the right decision, but if that's what I feel, I'll articulate it in that way, so that it doesn't look like fear, inability to decide, or a failure of leadership. I once told colleagues in a memo "the decision is 'no decision', and in this instance, no decision is a strategy."

Making a decision on the basis of intuition is OK, if that's all you have, even for someone who considers themselves to be data-led. Intuition is simply a word describing accumulated experience built up over years.

When a top soccer striker receives a long arcing pass into the box from a winger, and scores with a single touch of the ball, he/she didn't sit down and work out the physics of the shot beforehand.  The actual 'decision moment', the time available for calculating every aspect of the shot, was probably less than one second and the calculation is unlikely to have been right, even if there'd been time; they used intuition, and top strikers are top strikers because of the frequency with which they get that right. 

Indecision comes at a price, and creates problems all of its own. In a team environment, indecision leads to frustration, stress, worry, internal conflict, loss of confidence in the decision-makers, and makes an organisation look rudderless, undirected, and as though it is bobbing at the whim of fate. 

So if you make a decision to delay a decision, you must also calculate the costs of that.  

I'm not advocating for knee-jerk reactions. I can be quite forensic about decision-making, even if the analysis is speedy.  I'm a former private pilot and in that environment decision making can be A Big Thing. There are tools to help, such as phrases giving an order of priorities in emergency situations (for example, in an emergency, "Aviate, Navigate, Communicate", in that order).

Quick decision making, in my case, is often enabled by clear strategic thinking conducted long before tactical decisions are required. 

On major issues, I try to have clarity about the long term outcomes I want, the pathway for achieving them, the various gateways at which decisions will be required, and the obstacles I'll need to overcome. 

I'm always mindful of the need to be flexible, and adaptable to changing circumstances, and have a notice on the wall right above my desk saying "No plan survives first contact with the enemy" (which is a slight corruption of a well-known military dictum).  

It may seem a bit annal but having a strategic plan for almost any situation makes it easier to apply quick 'navigational' changes.

I don't always write it down, and when I do, it's sometimes half a dozen bullet points kept on my phone (though often a full page of notes clarifying my thoughts).

It helps that I can type with some accuracy at circa 160wpm. 

I believe I engage in 'strategic planning' much more than most people and I consider it to be an element of my 'autistic head', but a positive one.  

I don't always get this right (but to be fair, people who make slow decisions don't always get it right, either).  I make some wrong decisions, of course, like everyone, and sometimes evidence emerges that (had I waited for a little while / had it been available at the time) would have led to a different decision; but on the whole I'm fairly confident that my 'hit rate', across my lifetime, is better for being decisive.

I'm here reading and learning. Thank you

Another item to look at is Prof Daniel Kahneman who won the Nobel prize for his work on decision making

Most people decisions are "knee jerk"  instant decisions which are biased depending on our experience/ opinions etc. You check out how you prefer one option to another 

Backward Induction.

Work back from end point (your goal). 

yes decision making  oh my its hard

if its sweets well i throw a coin/dice and blame fate

for bigger things i use a sheet of paper and list the pros and cons of each possible path  

then make a cup of tea and review my notes ( remove anything delusional or without evidence )

i usually come to a decsion that way

I'm autistic and did a 2 year research on "decision analysis" to find a mathematical way to make decisions. Check out decision trees and expected values of the outcome. I found this a useful logical way to approach things. Look at videos or Google it