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Everything seems so difficult.

wee_witch

I have found myself struggling as a mum of two autistic children. Everything seems so much harder when you have to make sure that their needs are met. I love them so much and do my best, but I sometimes feel that it shouldn't be so hard. Do any other parents feel like that? I guess I am looking for a bit of support.

  • Hello! I’ll write more in a bit but just wanted to send a friendly wave. I have two children (one ASD one with epilepsy) and although their needs aren’t huge I still get how draining it is. X

  • It is hard. Incredibly hard. 

    If you are autistic yourself- time management struggles, lack of understanding basic orderings of every day things, never a handle on communication in general or hyper sensitive / hyper intuitive, it may be extraordinarily difficult without sound practical advice. 

    If you’re not and they inherited this from their father, it’s exhaustive just in the chasm of miscommunication and understanding. 

    Your role is the most you’ll ever experience in acts of selflessness. Just from one mum to another. Never take offence, they will always be dependent upon your mentoring. Always help them contain and identify emotions, you are their guide. If you show lead by example and always teach by doing a thing with them, it will be a million times easier. X

  • wee_witch,

     I were very draining for my parents when a child, but you can’t blame all the behaviour on their autism as my parents always used my autism as an excuse. Just like all other children, those of us autistic can intentionally misbehave if it appears fun as in today’s world we’re surrounded by deceit making good things look bad and bad things look good. 

    The additional needs those of us autistic have can make things more exhausting as lots of parents and autistic people are denied help and support services, even though I’m 30 my dad still helps me with things I don’t intuitively understand. These are the consequences of living in an inherently ableist world, people who are seen as not disabled are only so because they receive more accommodations than any disabled person, the world is designed to accommodate for the needs of the majority.