Struggles with England

Just wondered, does anyone else think this is a particularly hard country to be autistic in?

I feel like the whole world is difficult for us but this country is, especially. There is the whole "stiff upper lip" thing and English reserve. It's all about not showing your emotions or how you feel. As an autistic person I can never read how other people feel so living in a place where people are actively trying not to show you how they feel makes it even harder. Also, I am a very emotional person but that seems to be frowned upon too.

I feel like people are so desperate to seem cool here so they never get excited about anything or show enthusiasm for anything. In other countries people seem to be less preocuppied with this and not afraid to be enthusiastic. 

To be honest, I don't really feel English even though I was born and spent my whole life here. I love German music, football, food and culture. I listen to German and Hungarian pop most of the time and I dream of living in Germany, Switzerland, Hungary or Scandanavia. 

Even in the Euros I supported Denmark and Hungary and almost pretended to support England to fit in 

Hope this doesnt offend anyone, I dont mean to steryotype or anything, just how I feel right now 

  • Nah I like the fact that a lot of english people are quite reserved, it means that I blend in more, and people appreciate my kind of humour. Sometimes people from Australia or USA don't get my humour or misinterpret my awkwardness. I think american culture expects everyone to fake exaggerated positivity and I can't live up to that.

  • We, I left the UK, and I have been living in Hungary for over 20 years now. I graduated at a time when there were 500 graduates to one job, then a year later another recession meant all my avenues towards self employment caved in, and I hated the restart schemes, compulsory job plan workshops etc with a vengeance.

    So I got a viable means of self employment, a day job, in Hungary instead. Nothing like my original dreams, frequently thankless, with horrible hours, but it did get easier. Because of Covid it has been almost all Skype recently. Recently I have found a gallery which is part virtual, part puts on events and auctions, and I hope to find more galleries too. 

    Don't really k ow many Hungarian bands right now, but I did like the Space Monkeys and FO System 

  • you can protest

    I heard that is going yo change soon ''due to covid requirements''

  • I went to Florida once learning to fly, the school was rubbish so I quit the school and the second week of waiitng to fly home was made MUCH less tedious by the niceness of the locals. I'd loveto go back just to say thanks. When the yanks bought a company I worked at and sent their guys over, they were as bad as stereotypical americans ever are, but those florida people were good people..

  • Very real things here:

    yanks are so overly happy and overly enthusiastic

    We're expected as children, to SELL. To be extroverted sales reps. To be greedy and corrupt. If someone can, you can, anyone can. Which is why I'd suggest the orange mop was actually seen as a thing to revere. It's all so cringe-y and if you're neuro-divergent or introverted, it's not a country you'll thrive in.

    I'm not sure if the lack of irony stems from the French or if there's just too many nationalities or IF irony is really a thing naturally predispositioned with individuals who can 'connect the dots', but sarcasm is definitely an accepted way of being obnoxiously whinge-y and I just find sarcasm truly dull no matter where I am. 

    Ritalin - on a side note is a substitute for allowing children proper time outside to play.  Compare to Germany for primary schools. it's another thing I would love to see changed - not just how blind most of that country can be to autistic wired individuals. 

  • aye, food and housing perhaps will go soon.... we are already witnessing the destruction of housing by landlords who are snapping them all up to create income off our backs, and then making rent be 100% of a common mans wages... that will end up with a revolution and more people wanting to adopt chairman maos radical land reform policy! lol

  • Something will give sooner or later. As long as people have houses and food they'll probably put up with the corruption and unfairness we live with but when it passes a certain point I think people will rebel.

  • you cant help but vote in the wrong people,when every single choice is wrong lol the game is rigged from the start that way, that is hardly the voters fault but the systems fault for being a system in which only gives us all bad choices and no way to fix that aside from radical civil war and blood letting of which is all a thing of the opast and will never happen again.

  • England is corrupt at the moment and has been in decline for decades. Bad leadership, people voting in the wrong people and a broken voting system.

  • i reckon germany would be worse if we go by stereotypes...

    germany would be full of angry shouty people, and that would constantly trigger emotional overload then get you mocked and shouted at and outcast even more as then the germans would view you as weak, as untermensch by their words lol

    hungary i dunno enough about their culture to judge adequately, politically speaking they are against everything the EU stands for so they maybe alright lol but i guess the farther east european you go the more stern and tough they will be due to harder reality of life. which can be said for most countries worse off than the uk probably.

    the scandanavian countries would be ok though. just a bit cold in the temperature tbh.

  • No country is perfect, and no country of nearly 70 million people can satisfy all of them. 

    But in this country (unlike many others) you can protest,  voice your opinion, insult people, offend people, campaign for or against things, and vote. 

    If the police arrest you, you'll get a lawyer, and there are strict rules about how you are detained and for how long.  You'll get a trial, and if the case is big enough the media may cover it and publicise it; under the law, they can only be prevented from doing so in highly specific cases (eg national security), so justice is not only done, it is seen to be done (or at least, open to public scrutiny). 

    All these things happen within agreed parameters (so you can do most of them 'wihin reason').

    You can love who you want, marry who you want, there are minimum wages, an NHS which is free at the point of delivery, social services, welfare benefits, and more freedoms than most people in the world have. 

    There are limitations on all of this because we all have to live together, and you can't exercise your freedoms to the point that you are hurting someone else, but mostly they are reasonable. 

    Discrimination happens, because some humans are bigots, but it's generally illegal and often results in legal remedies. 

    We have criminals, but on the whole, the chances of being a victim of violent crime are much lower than in many other countries, and we have well resourced law enforcement so the criminals are often caught. 

    Our climate is reasonably temperate, without the extremes of many countries.

    Many of these things impact directly on the lives of autistic people. 

    All public services are under pressure, and there will always be compliants, but for all the faults, there are more freedoms and a greater level of 'safety net' for those in need than there are in most countries in the world.  

  • There was a twitter thread about AS individuals who moved to other countries to cope. I'm too unemotional (apparently) to be an American, or incredibly emotional at the wrong time, about the wrong things, in the wrong space. Also accidentally spot far too much irony on a regular basis, which seems a bit lost to most there, and then took on my grandfathers more Scottish sense of humour when young, which also never fits. One is marginalised if you don't react appropriately wherever you are. 

    If you live somewhere else, others automatically expect you to be a bit different. It's then delightful & interesting! If Germany may be where you call home some day, perhaps it's a plan to pop into the works?

  • This issue is Globalised; I'm afraid.

    They don't want productive and mobilised people, just consumers who expect handouts.