Can you relax?

Yes, I have two cats.  They do relax me, I must admit.

you're so right, and that's an area i just have a real hard time with. it's such a fine distinction --- i think??? -- between focusing intently on something, and finding it relaxing and enjoyable. i tend to think of focusing intensely ---------- that's not relaxing, to me. yes, finding that activity you're talking about is so hard.  

i just think it's so hard --- really hard,,, to find things that are relaxing. i blame my asd for that... or is it add... one or both. whatever. others in my family who are asd-like just seem like whirlwinds, constant motion, leaping up at the slightest idea, and off they go.........

Depends on your definition of relax really.  Being total focused on something is relaxing especially if it blanks everything else out.  It's finding the activity that does it for you that is the hard bit.  For me it is playing the piano at the moment, even though I am not that good you have to give it 100% focus.

Yes, if I am not being stressed by something and there is nothing that I absolutely have to do, I can relax entirely - like a cat. If I am anxious, then it is a different story.

raspberrypie said:

i love cats.... i hope you relax with your cat. sadly, i don't have one.

same here. I miss cats, my granpa had around 20 stray's that stayed around house and barn, 

I hold 4 tiny kittens just born in one hand once, so fragile, I was 5, granpa called me come and see them, wow

i think i can relate. no - i don't feel relaxing is very easy or natural for me. except sometimes when i smoke pot - but that's a different topic.l

when i play games --- no, i don't play 'board' games. i play chess. when i read books, i don't read --- fun books... i read hemingway, etc.. when i go fishing, i don't pop a beer and toss the line in and just sit back... i'm super involved...it's like chess, but against a slimy cold blooded opponent.  oh wait, it's exactly like chess.

  i think finding things that are relaxing, enjoyable, relaxing (i said it again) is good... for me, it's walking. i find a nice place, and walk. it's just enjoyable. sometimes i listen to music while walking. it pays to be very comfortable walking: gloves, hat, fleece, whatever, shoes, whatever one needs to be very comfortable... walking. that's about it. maybe gardening, but i rarely do that. that's a little like work, sometimes. that's a hard one.... 

even eating pho - --- it's like a battle to me......... but that's a fun battle. and i always win. i demolish it.

if you have a cat --------- i love cats.... i hope you relax with your cat. sadly, i don't have one.

That works just as well, keeping yourself distracted from thoughts/worries by focussing on something you enjoy.  I've done that a lot in the past but in recent years I haven't had many special interests to turn to, but I should get into something again.

that's what i do doing that nice music + some taichi/balet/yoga :P

i approach that problem differently

distract yourself with something captivating your attention

I spend most nights in bed watching tv or just listening to it.

I find it stops me from thinking about everything on the planet.  Listening to very low noise stops me from beating myself up and putting everything under the microscope.

I don’t stop thinking unless I’m focused on something I enjoy. Rather, I can’t stop thinking. Mindfulness doesn’t work for me. I have tried it before, and have had some during CBT.

Hmm. I don’t have ADHD. At least I don’t think so. I’m not even diagnosed with ASD yet. I think the only time I am probably relaxed is when I’m deep in my interests perhaps, because that when time flies and I’m focussed. As long as I am busy with my hands, I don’t pick or bite them. 
The minute I stop doing something I enjoy, my brain kicks in and goes ten to the dozen with thoughts, monologues, conversations  etc etc.

It can feel creepy when you are not used to the silence, but thoughts will start up again so it won't last for long.  Also, its about trying to let thoughts go, if they aren't helpful to us at that moment.

it scares me to think I could be without one thought happening

like brain dead

If you are thinking about things when you are 'relaxing' then that's not really relaxing, you won't feel relaxed either.  Its anxiety or compulsion, but something to work on.  I find mindfulness helps me have a break, its about focussing away from yourself for a while each day.  Autistic people tend to ruminate and end up stressed/tense, and burnt out if it continues for years.

Catlover said:

I felt like I was being lazy when relaxing

I fell it like that too

probably ADHD related

find different ways to relax, not sitting down

nice music + some taichi/balet/yoga ? i do not know any of them  :P

ican watch only when eating, or i bite nails ort start playing on mbile

Catlover, it's as if you've taken a trip into my mind and written my experience down. When I'm on the train, I immediately get my book out or write up my notes for what I need to do when I get home, or think through forms of logical argument. I can't stay still or do nothing for a moment. If I was machine, all the working parts would be broken through overuse. Although useful, it is something I may try to alter about myself in the future, as I don't think it's healthy in the long term.

You have just made me chuckle, I do exactly the same. 
My wife gets so cross, I get the “I don’t need to know which films the actors have been  in, where they were born or how many children they have”!!!

if we go on holiday it has to be interesting, after 10 minutes on a sun lounger I’m rapping my finger nails on the arm and then have go and do something. I just can’t relax.

The expression I often use which drives her mad is,  

“Burning daylight “