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Help. Not sure what’s going on

NAS76602

Hi,

I’m having an assessment next week and following weeks and it seems to be (to anyone who knows me apparently) a foregone conclusion I’ll be diagnosed on the spectrum. Recently I’ve been under immense stress, business, moving home and taking people to court (business related) etc and I’ve started to experience weird stuff going on within me for about a month and I don’t like it and looking for help. 

As an example, I’ve just been to the bank and I was in a rush to get somewhere else (solicitors and bank to transfer funds very stressful); my behaviour was appalling but I just couldn’t stop. The noise, the fact I’d to wait at least 40 minutes to simply do a transfer just seemed to put me into, well I don’t know what tbh, overload maybe, I was fidgeting and foot wagging, messing with my phone and just basically acting like a sulking 3 year old. But the internal anger at the injustice of having to wait in their was too much, it was awkward for everyone. I’m in my 50’s for goodness sake. 
Is this a meltdown? I’ve had a few in the past when I was under stress but this is just a never ending feeling of anger/frustration and confusion and just not giving two cares to masking. It’s not stopping me function and in normal circumstances I can still mask with loved ones and clients. Sound familiar? 

  • Sounds like sensory overload followed by something close to a panic attack which you deflected with anger. You took out your frustration on the staff, sadly, but you had to get it out of you somehow. Too many people, too much going on in an enclosed space. I'm afraid all I might suggest is relaxation techniques or distracting yourself by thinking about things you enjoy to take your mind off of matters.

    Hope it helps.

  • but I was diagnosed to have autism not autism+ADHD

    ADHD was only mentioned by others when I was in 2nd year of Primary for a short while

    I tuned it out to have no visible symptoms in behaviour or thoughts, desire for masking is powerful motivator

    there was only one left, when I was relaxed I was prone to distractions

    recenatly I reached a next level of enlightment in being autistic as I would refer to, when we reject masking and we can see the 3rd invisible choice in every dilema that was making us stuck in a loop, whenever I try to consider going out masking I have an immediate thought interrupting the first one saying NO, it was a complicated process to get there. 

    one day after I rejected masking I was classic case autism+ADHD

    so I learn how to play ball with a little bugger now

    It stands to reason that if I did it, someone else could do it to, or many other, or everyone else, what if all autistic are autism+ADHD cases masking it perfectly?

    It's my hypothesis, there is only one other member on this forum who revealed similar understanding of autism and he has ADD.

  • I do not like queues, under stress anxiety is making me act like you described as well

    so pick up a phone and strart playing a game you like, for me it's sudoku

    I think it's ADHD related, that little bugger feels trapped so you need to distract it

  • Yep!  Sounds like your senses were pushed to the max in there and then you were trapped in with it longer than you could tolerate and you are anxious about a number of changes anyway; kind of rather a lot to deal with all at once, so you were trying to regulate that with all the foot waging and fidgeting aka stimming.  Stimming is not illegal you know and is generally pretty harmless, however weird the world thinks it is.  If your foot wagging helps withstand being stuck in there with the noise and the people, foot wag away.  It's not childish at all.  Just different.

    Be honest about all that stuff in your assessment and Good Luck