Help. Not sure what’s going on

Hi,

I’m having an assessment next week and following weeks and it seems to be (to anyone who knows me apparently) a foregone conclusion I’ll be diagnosed on the spectrum. Recently I’ve been under immense stress, business, moving home and taking people to court (business related) etc and I’ve started to experience weird stuff going on within me for about a month and I don’t like it and looking for help. 

As an example, I’ve just been to the bank and I was in a rush to get somewhere else (solicitors and bank to transfer funds very stressful); my behaviour was appalling but I just couldn’t stop. The noise, the fact I’d to wait at least 40 minutes to simply do a transfer just seemed to put me into, well I don’t know what tbh, overload maybe, I was fidgeting and foot wagging, messing with my phone and just basically acting like a sulking 3 year old. But the internal anger at the injustice of having to wait in their was too much, it was awkward for everyone. I’m in my 50’s for goodness sake. 
Is this a meltdown? I’ve had a few in the past when I was under stress but this is just a never ending feeling of anger/frustration and confusion and just not giving two cares to masking. It’s not stopping me function and in normal circumstances I can still mask with loved ones and clients. Sound familiar? 

Parents
  • but I was diagnosed to have autism not autism+ADHD

    ADHD was only mentioned by others when I was in 2nd year of Primary for a short while

    I tuned it out to have no visible symptoms in behaviour or thoughts, desire for masking is powerful motivator

    there was only one left, when I was relaxed I was prone to distractions

    recenatly I reached a next level of enlightment in being autistic as I would refer to, when we reject masking and we can see the 3rd invisible choice in every dilema that was making us stuck in a loop, whenever I try to consider going out masking I have an immediate thought interrupting the first one saying NO, it was a complicated process to get there. 

    one day after I rejected masking I was classic case autism+ADHD

    so I learn how to play ball with a little bugger now

    It stands to reason that if I did it, someone else could do it to, or many other, or everyone else, what if all autistic are autism+ADHD cases masking it perfectly?

    It's my hypothesis, there is only one other member on this forum who revealed similar understanding of autism and he has ADD.

Reply
  • but I was diagnosed to have autism not autism+ADHD

    ADHD was only mentioned by others when I was in 2nd year of Primary for a short while

    I tuned it out to have no visible symptoms in behaviour or thoughts, desire for masking is powerful motivator

    there was only one left, when I was relaxed I was prone to distractions

    recenatly I reached a next level of enlightment in being autistic as I would refer to, when we reject masking and we can see the 3rd invisible choice in every dilema that was making us stuck in a loop, whenever I try to consider going out masking I have an immediate thought interrupting the first one saying NO, it was a complicated process to get there. 

    one day after I rejected masking I was classic case autism+ADHD

    so I learn how to play ball with a little bugger now

    It stands to reason that if I did it, someone else could do it to, or many other, or everyone else, what if all autistic are autism+ADHD cases masking it perfectly?

    It's my hypothesis, there is only one other member on this forum who revealed similar understanding of autism and he has ADD.

Children
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