Published on 12, July, 2020
Anyone else find life as an Autistic adult immensely difficult and different? I felt like when I was a child and teenager there was loads of support but now I'm an adult everyone just abandoned me and the support and help just vanished over night. I find being an adult really hard at times. Your such an outcast to the rest of the world no one wants to bother with you. And when you try to do adult things you just crash and burn. It pees me off so much. Last year I went for over seven job interviews, didn't get one job! My parents pretty much forced me to do online dating, which I did and the result was a toxic relationship in which the man I was seeing hit me so hard I lost three teeth. No longer seeing him. And now I'm having to deal with anxiety issues as well. I went to the doctors and they put me on anti depressants, even though I told her I wasn't depressed at all! Then she referred me to the metal health team and then I found myself in a hospital called Talygarn for nearly four months! I hate medical professionals they don't help at all they just make things worse. I'll never trust a doctor again for as long as I live! I'll be turning 30 soon and it's pretty depressing because I literally have no achievements in my life. I'm an aspie, I still live with my parents even though my three brothers have all moved out, my relationships crash and burn, I can't get a job and I've been told by my mum that I'm retarded and useless, which doesn't do much for my confidence at all. Been looking for some advice and understanding for a while but couldn't find any at home so here I am.
I finally reached the conclusion that the only achievement I can possibly accomplish is in becoming The Greatest Madhatter of All Times. LOL
though people saying those things might be,
thinking that it is logical and resonable along spewing it?
in which of the universes? certainly not this one?
where were I would reply to those spewers when you felt like that sayingf it? in a lunapark? sorry lunaticpark? pretending to be unaware of english nomenclature and name for the place hinted already.
Faith said: I've been told by my mum that I'm retarded and useless, which doesn't do much for my confidence at all.
I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a rough time and there's a lot here that I hope over time you can get the right help and support with. But the one thing that leapt out at me, in combination with the fact that your parents pressurised you into using a dating site, was this one. It's screaming at me that there is something not at all right in your relationship with your parents that might be underlying some of your other problems.
Telling your child, even your adult child, that they are "retarded and useless" is outright abusive and it has to stop! As is the interference in your dating life. You don't have to date anyone if YOU don't want to, end of. I'm not going ask you to tell us all publicly, but I'm going to throw out a couple of questions for you to think about. If the answer to any of them is "Yes", you need to reach out for some help because it might mean you shouldn't be around your parents. I'm not expert on where to go for that, but perhaps the mods might help:
- Have your parents often put you down like that?
- Did they do that when you were a child?
- Do they try and control other areas of your life besides dating?
- Have they ever harmed you in any other way?
But please hear one thing loud and clear and I can already see the other's pointing it out, because it is true: You are NOT retarded and neither are you useless.
You are not useless. I have had 4 interviews in the last month with no luck. I have a degree and am highly skilled with lots of experience. We are not useless, it's just that there are a lot of people competing for jobs. We need to keep going and we will both get one eventually. :-)
It does sound like you are very down and need something good in your life. I was lonely last month so I Googled wellbeing near me and a local charity would put on drumming classes for a group of beginners for a 10 week course came up. I have been for 3 weeks now and I cannot tell you how much better I feel just from being around people. Have a look and see if there is something in your area. This charity even met one person at the doorway who was feeling anxious about coming in and they had spoken on the phone and by email leading up to the first session. That person is completely fine now and loves it too.
I hope that you find something.
Welcome to the forum hopefully you can find some support here. You are not retarded or useless you just think and react differently to situations
Faith said:I'll be turning 30 soon and it's pretty depressing because I literally have no achievements in my life.
Making it this far is a bigger achievement than you're giving yourself credit for.
I'm not great at the advice part, but understanding...you can have as much of that as you need.
Welcome, and if you have any questions, ask away and there'll usually be someone here who can relate and guide you.
Faith said:Last year I went for over seven job interviews, didn't get one job!
My record is 42 job interviews, that was the year I finished my first degree.
my life was more like
no support as kid, and no support still
magnificent, and oh, so intersting as a kid, and more llke that now (like my last joke on autistics and humour LOL)
I skip that difficulties until I find a pillow in safe place as a kid, and I do it still the same way
going solo 2 years now and living solo, opened so many new possibilites, for all kinds of twists I can try out now
I'm the crazy scientist mindset at it's fullest by design love crazy experiments