Had enough

I am literally at breaking point I've had enough of asd of people of life. Asd comes with a lot of challenges and problems it makes you an outcast and people avoid you like you have the plague and they judge you before they even get to no you. I'm not sure what other conditions you have along side your asd diagnosis I have anxiety disorders and epilepsy. I lost my drivers licence and honestly I can't stand my life and how I am. My daughter would be better of with out me I'm useless as my bf never gets tired of telling me. I get angry easily at the mo I shout at my daughter and make her cry and there's Xmas coming up I can't afford it and I've got to go to a stupid work party thing with people who don't even like me wtf is the point. I don't feel like going on any more I don't see the point. I'm garbage my life is garbage I've nothing to live for any more. And to make matters worse I'm pregnant again and I really don't want another child I'm a useless mum to the child I already have. Yesterday I almost walked in front of a car on purpose and I'm still thinking about doing it I really don't want to be here any more I hate myself and I hate my life. Tell me does it get easier? I'm 24 and I don't want to live to b 25.

Parents
  • I'm not ringing anyone or seeing any drs they don't care at all they just try and give you fuking meds all the time! I can't skip the work party last year I did just that and my employer basically said don't do it again next year or your have no job to come back to. I am worthless I'm a bloody joke of a human being. Wtf! Why am I getting advice from a bloody school kid!!! No nothing. I don't matter and I'm worth f all. My bf is the only one who ever there for me my parents basically disowned me at an early age apparently having a retarded kid was to much for them and then I met my bf and finally someone got me. I didn't want kids but it happened and now I have to try and look after her my bf is always to tired so it down to me. Ive got to go to work every day which is total bs my colleagues bully me and there's this one guy there who keeps touching me inappropriately and when I tell the boss he says is all in my head and to stop overreacting. I'm a human being not a toy! I have bloody feelings not that anyone gives a ***. If I died rn no one would care that's how worthless my life is. My bf would be sad for a bit but he's good looking so he'd fin someone else. As for driving I was surprised I passed the test as I'm a bloody awful driver and working there was no other option I had to provide for my kid and benefits wasn't enough we were going hungry and about to lose the flat London expensive place to live. I can hardly cope and handle the girl I have now another child just scares the hell out of me. I'm a crap mum my daughter hates me and im awful to her at times she deserves far better. Ive always struggled with my anger though growing up I always got in to fights with other kids and teachers. My parents constantly hit me told me to calm down and grow up. I thought being an adult would make me better but look at me now I'm a bloody mess and I'm worth nothing to no one

  • other matter not, only you and your kid

    there are well paid jobs for drivers,

    and a steady inflow of those from eastern europe has stopped,

    so it's easy to get it now,

    you could drive a TIR truck for a big company with your kid onboard,

    and move somewhere else, more peaceful, in some nice little village,

    change a phone number like I did to avoid mum's nagging,

    build something with more meaning for you and your kid

    I failed driving test, probably for the better, i find it boring as hell and i get distracted in 5min or less, don't want to kill someone on my first day driving

Reply
  • other matter not, only you and your kid

    there are well paid jobs for drivers,

    and a steady inflow of those from eastern europe has stopped,

    so it's easy to get it now,

    you could drive a TIR truck for a big company with your kid onboard,

    and move somewhere else, more peaceful, in some nice little village,

    change a phone number like I did to avoid mum's nagging,

    build something with more meaning for you and your kid

    I failed driving test, probably for the better, i find it boring as hell and i get distracted in 5min or less, don't want to kill someone on my first day driving

Children
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