Giving up on life.

Hi Joe,

Thanks for sharing your story, it is quite similar to mine, apart from I started putting on the raves to make me more social.

I haven't been diagnosed as my GP is useless.

Could you or anyone advise me how I go about being diagnosed. I love in London.

Thanks

Miles

NAS75920 said:

peripheral artery disease

What are the symptoms of this? I smoked cannabis long term up until 5 years go. I stopped for about 4 years. I vape it now.

I see you ride a mountain bike. I have a Nukeproof gravel bike. If you want, I could go out for a ride with you sometime (my bike needs new handlebars (present ones too wide) so wont be on bike until after new year. Not being on my bike is doing my head in.

Sorry for not replying to anyone's posts been a heavy few days on the drink. There was something else which I hadn't mentioned in the original post and I was nervously anticipating. Yesterday I was diagnosed with peripheral artery disease after years of smoking cannabis. Been struggling with my mountain biking and walking for a year or so, so my mental health has taken a beating. I'll take a look again at volunteering. 

Thankyou very much for everyone's replies

I don't know if I should say this but Joe has not replied to any post yet and with the nature of the subject I'm a bit worried. It is more than likely nothing but I'm a worrier.

Hi Joe,

I sympathise with living in a small town and the lack of opportunities you feel there. I know the feeling of loneliness - it is so crushing when you can't see a way out. You don't say if you have access to transport. Meet up groups (searchable online - usually meet in person) are everywhere but the types and venues can be varied so it may not be suitable for you.

I echo the advice about volunteering though and see if you can try again with that. There may be something that suits you out there, for example, river and canal trust clean-ups (you're outside and it can be interesting what they find in rivers, all ages welcome etc). Perhaps there might be something locally. You could ask at the local town council - they may have some separate volunteer lists or projects you could get involved in. Singing groups or helping out with groups can offer unity without too much pressure on yourself. It's that first step of getting out there and trying again though I know from experience this can be very hard to overcome. Once you do though and your sense of self changes then eventually other good things happen.

In short, I really feel for you. Please talk to someone though if you feel that life is becoming too much for you. Samaritans: 116 123.

Sorry, I missed a couple of things in your post. I see you've already tried to see your diagnosis service. I live in Wallsend but I got my diagnosis in Grassbanks, Gateshead. They were helpful. They might be able to help you.

I live in North Tyneside and there is help there, I have a support worker who tries to find local groups to help me socialize. She has not found anything yet but the support is still there. Have you tried getting in touch with the people who diagnosed you? That's how I got my support worker.

Oh no Joe I'm sorry that you're having such a tough time - I am currently going through a mental health crisis too and I've had some horribly, dark thoughts in the past few weeks and whilst I know there is very little that I can say to make it feel better I'm certainly here if you want to chat via this forum.

I know my situation is very different from yours but I certainly recognise the  suicidal thoughts.  I am currently in therapy and my mental health nurse has suggested distracting myself by doing things I enjoy - for me this is reading, crossword puzzles, learning french in Duolingo and binge watching comedy repeats on netflix - is there something you could do to distract yourself?  

Another idea is try not to think too far into the future - just focus on the immediate future - say the next hour etc. 

Also is there a way to make friends online?  I struggle socially but luckily at my age I've now realised that it's ok but I have heard that lots of people with ASD find it helpful to be friends online as there is much less pressure with online interactions.

trying to address and reduce suicidal thinking - important, very important, I cant tell you how important this is. I've never known anyone who did and would never contemplate it personally - but when I read about these cases of despar it just grieves me so profoundly. Epecially the young people - teenagers and 20s who are half a minute out of childhood. It's too hard to hear about it.  

It's tough to accept that it's a hard. hard rain's a gonna fall. I think there is somethng about God deep in the heart of the struggle. There is a purpose and light inside the difficulties. We feel cursed but we will somehow be blessed along this journey. All will be healed and whole again and there will be no more tears and darkness. Long for that reconciliation of love with people you know and others. It's not impossible. It is here. 

Hi Joe

I expect many of us here would love to help. From my analytical view it is terrible once the brain is stuck with a bad thought and we need to find some joy somewhere to focus on and stop spending anytime dwelling on negativity.

Easier said than done though 

I am currently in a group trying to address and reduce suicidal thinking in autism. Not easy at all as we don't let go of some thoughts.

Any suggestions ??

Yes I'm asking if iyt would help you to have a role in responding to autistic people who are distressed with negativity?

I feel the same as you, I've been dealing with a lot of depression and anger for a while. we could be internet mates if you want. I'd be happy to listen to you vent. Idk how old you are, but I'm 21

I've recently moved to Cumbria which is about 2 hours from newcastle I think. would love a friend to go to the Lake District with one day

We don't have to be friends, but I just hope you're able to find a service that can help you, because it's terrible that your gp didn't at least refer you to CBT or s local support group. maybe if you ask them specifically for a support group for depression/autism. I'm pretty sure it's protocol! So I would complain/persist.

My heart goes out to you.

Too many great young men were taken advantage of, by others. But, once we shape our own destiny, we become better.

I have a place of my own, now, and am more content.

i agree try volunteering with groups that have younger people,,,,, eg Conservation Volunteers 

or work at an open farm

Is it worth trying again with the charity work? I get that old people might not be your ideal friendship group and perhaps what you were doing was too draining with too little pay off. However you mentioned that not speaking to anyone in ages was depressing you so it might be better that nothing, for now. And sometimes you can meet people through other people.
Can your support group offer any extra help/opportunities?

Hi Joe.

Have you thought of taking up the guitar, or any other musical instrument? Or maybe buying a DAW and midi-keyboard to learn how to create EDM music? Music is love, vibrating through the air from one soul to others. Every study has evidenced a significant reduction of loneliness, as well as a rise in empathy and mood due to listening to self-created and self-selected music. Even if your mood is low to begin with, every study has shown that musical engagement provides not only mood-repair but also a sense of connection to oneself and others. 

I joined a local walking group.  Most of the people in it are pretty eccentric.