Question for unemployed people. Did you have an angry parent?

i think my dad maybe too.. already also claims to be dyslexic or whatever which im not entirely sure is the older gens systems misdiagnosed way of saying something is wrong but we are not yet advanced enough to know. i doubt he is dyslexic. 

Well, although I've usually managed to stay employed, I'd say finding and keeping a job was made many times more difficult due to anxiety and timidity.  My parents weren't that angry (except where I think they really had just cause and even then they never "lost it" and were always fair with us) but they really weren't very savvy and they too were timid, anxious and extremely sensitive.  And, although there are many positives to being sensitive, being chronically anxious isn't exactly an asset in the workplace.  Many around us subscribe to the attitude of, "Shy kids get nowt" and at work will seek out and promote more assertive types.  Me and mine just don't fit into workplaces with that culture and, for me that's been the issue.  

I was loved but my parental role models were very shy and retiring and I've yet to see a job advert seeking shy, avoidant personalities like me.  I don't think they had the wherewithall to prepare me and at school they only focussed on academic stuff.  So although anger didn't play a part, it still felt as though vital ingredients were missing.  Also that this related to growing up in a neurodivergent family whose members were already struggling with other people and the outside world.  

I'm not sure what proportion of autistic people are successful though, nor how we would describe "success".  Certainly my parents were kind and gentle people and I still believe that the world could do with more like them.  And to me that's a kind of success, even if it's not widely recognised.        

My Gran was paranoid over money and the fear of my brother and I dying; due to my father's death in the Troubles.

I was smacked as a child. But, on reflection, it made me a better person.

My fears are projections of the fears of others; primarily.

Yeah, my dad might be an undiagnosed Autistic. It's a difficult one to decipher. With older generations, they seem so hardwired to be tough and never talk about or think about anything relating to any vulnerability in ourselves like neurodiversity. 

I can see how that would have had a detrimental effect on your confidence about yourself and others. Can't have been easy. 

I can relate to most of what you say. I'm very sensitive to criticism too. Really do think childhood has a big impact on our later adult character.

I had two loving parents and a wonderful childhood up until my teenage years. Things went wrong for me as a teenager, and I felt disconnected from my parents (and everyone else). But it was nothing they did or didn't do. They remained ultra loving and supportive all through my life, and I had a strong bond with my mum that was unshakable and unbreakable. I never felt a closeness with my father, and we found it hard to communicate with one another most of the time, and there were often awkward silences. But we loved each other. The love was never in doubt. 

my dad was always angry and stuff, explodes over anything and gets stressy. i was unemployed up unemployed most life up until recently. parents always at first was forceful about tryna push me into work, but obviously if you try force someone to do one thing you will only get resistance, a person must find their own path or else they will resist any force... this is common sense, always were there is force to push a thing one way there is equal resistance the other way and thats probably why i naturally ended up not working for long time. plus i didnt see much point anyway, to work you must have something to work for, and i didnt have much of a life so i didnt see the point. why work when you have nothing to work for? but then when you do have something to work for like a life and social life and so on, then your work dominates and you end up losing your life to work anyway haha

in the end it took time but i naturally got a job in my own time when it felt right for me. probably could have been alot earlier if there wasnt any force one way or the other.

I had very short-fused parents, particularly my stepfather, who expected me to basically not be seen or heard. I found solace in praise from teachers at school which compensated for the negativity at home, but the problem was that when I got things even the slightest bit wrong or felt criticised or told off then I'd cry and cry. I really struggle even now to keep my emotions in control. 

I react the same to managers. I changed jobs 6 months ago and I still have a lot to learn, but I'm a tough self-critic and expect too much from myself (and others). Even simple mistakes with no major consequences feel like a huge issue to me. 

My parents were just awful.  I was shunned by the neighbors and community at large, not just because of my behaviour but because of my parents' behaviour.

The other big problem was that my parents were refugees who never learnt English, they relied on family and neighbors to translate almost everything for them.  This lead to increasingly ridiculous situations with them trying to cover up this fact and blaming everyone, including me for their failures.

My mother was very patronising, telling me and my sister, constantly, not to be silly. For example, most families tell their grown up children to ' go and find a job, don't sit at home all day'  I was repeatedly told ' not to be silly, and to stay at home 24/7 because I can't possibly work because I don't speak English.'

My father's catchphrase was to prefix conversations with calling everyone 'a stupid idiot', he couldn't understand the dialogue on TV so he shouted at the TV, 'the stupid idiots don't know what they're talking about.'  And at me, ' look at that stupid idiot, he's pretending to watch the TV!'