Is it normal for an adult with Aspergers to resent adulthood and have a strong urge to regress to a childlike state?

Hope said:

I resent being an adult, and would much prefer to revert back to my teenage years, ie school years, or even younger still. To put it mildly, I hate adulthood and all that it implies. I am still a child, emotionally and psychologically speaking, as well as being a narcisist with a strong desire for attention. I can't take criticism, I am easily hurt emotionally if I don't get my way, and I am very egotistical. I like to assume a dependent role in many situations, but I also need to dominate things and people. Is this normal? Should I get help to deal with this? Or is this simply a part of my autism and inability to cope in a 'neurotypical' world. I employ regressive techniques when I feel insecure, like childish giggling, a childish voice, and childish behaviour. My sense of self is labile, ie I have no idea as to who I really am. With no friends my own age, I have no reference point. All my acquaintances are authority figures, and people my own age annoy me.

 

Been there, done it, and wear the t-shirt with pride!  36 years old, going on 12!  

You are not the only one!

Under the all father or all mother concept, a government takes control and acts like the parent to the country, the population thus become children, looking for the state to protect there security and comfort. Take the queen same ***, but with a sympathic remote mechanism, but the reality is, the system is designed to make the country into childminds by fear so they can rule as overlords.,.. by removing your full security by design and giving you small comfort in return so you think you need them, it is in reality an abuse model.

In my own head 30 is the age of being old. Every year I celebrate my 29th again.   It seems to really annoy others that they age each year but I never do.  Suits me.

& yeah, I act very child-like.  I do a lot of "Orrrrrrr but Muuuuum" and "Snot fair" tantrums.

Hope said:

Scorpian: I am aware I need to address it because it is not healthy to constantly ruminate over the past, but the question is, how can I succeed in rebuilding a sense of security when I have very little external structure?

I wish I knew the answer to that question myself, Hope!

However, I believe it has something to do with finding security within yourself and not being reliant on external structure for it.

Thanks for the replies.

autismtwo: When needed, I can assume an adult manner, for example in my voluntary work, and whenever I need to do adult tasks that involve other people. It is just that I feel like a split personality, where my ego is split in two. Both the adult and the child ego are in conflict, so to speak, because while intellectually and physically I am an adult, emotionally I am years behind in my development. I still feel as though I am going through my teenage years, whereas when I really was a teenager, I was still going through my childhood years. Normal society, however, expects development to be uniform, that is 'neurotypical', without understanding that some of us still feel like teenagers well into our 20s and 30s!.

Stuffed: That is it. I am longing for security because I lack it in the present. However disagreeable school could be, it at least provided me with a timetable and a structure.

Autismtwo: I chose the pseudonym  'hope' because I like to hope that things will get better.

Scorpian: I am aware I need to address it because it is not healthy to constantly ruminate over the past, but the question is, how can I succeed in rebuilding a sense of security when I have very little external structure?

The most truthful answer is probably that it is both part of your autism and something you should seek to address.

Now, I personally believe that there is nothing wrong with keeping ones inner child a strong ever present part of who one is.

But, at the same time you are physically an adult, and have to learn to deal with the adult world, as an adult.

That should not mean killing off the inner child altogether though.

Just learning to have an inner adult as well.

Hope there is sublimal contradiction in your post,, your profile name is HOPE, hope is a future place not the past.

 work on your yearly plan

No Childhood was hell reinvented and I now avoid society.

Maybe your longing for security and thinking of happier time- Not picking on you, just an observation.

yes, sounds like negative attachment to parental care(comfort blank protection), so it is normal within autism spectrum, but at the same time under the correct guidance you can adopt into an adult mindset, especially if functional roles are needed, ie work.

I would not, get too obsessive about this want, it is only a projection of the past anxiety and thus fear as you have an underdeveloped ego and this makes the big bad world seem unfamiliar. You just need a smaller world with your own "controllable" area, not your bedroom nor a fantasy in the past, but in the NOW. You need an autism life plan to follow.  with support to meet your milestones.

I  am  also obsessed with my childhood, and I try to recreate my childhood in my mind. I am still living the 'childhood project', so to speak, in that my desires are still the same as they were ten years ago (when I was 14 years old and younger), but I can't actualise them other than in fantasy. However, in my bedroom I can ruminate about it to my heart's content, and can act like a child to my heart's desire.