My son and money

No worries!

It's tricky and sadly not rare. When talking to potential candidates I find mentioning the average salary figures persuade the less keen. The basic is usually £25,000, but most hit the 50k tax bracket with overtime and unsocial hours. And with lots of training and promotion opportunities the only way is up.

Sales is often highly pressured, so if he's not enjoying it, it probably isn't a healthy environment to be in. I'm sure you've tried but maybe explore things he enjoys.

Money wise, you could get him to open a second debit card. Put a budgeted amount on it each month that wouldn't do any financial damage if spent. Then keep the other one (supposedly with a greater sum from wages) out of the way for essentials like bills. This should limit spending and potentially create savings. 

Thanks Peter, he is very lonely, I bought him a kitten which he loves and it’s something for him to look after and care for. He loves to worry me for some reason and seems to resent my husband and I but I’m not sure why. 

Thank you for your response. He’s a salesman but works from home which isn’t good for him either, pressure to reach targets and doesn’t get enough exercise. I suggested that very role for him or even to do some voluntary job helping others to make him feel good about himself but he just never listens sadly. He can’t seem to help himself and I’m at a loss as to what else we can do.

What does he do? How are his social skills? I work on emergency ambulances and have found numerous autistic peers, who seem to flourish in the role. It helps develop abilities to prioritise and socialise. In addition to this, it helps to put life into perspective due to the broad diversity of patients we meet and see, whilst often giving you a healthy adrenaline rush. I believe there is a lot of support available too. 

I can relate. Loneliness is hard and autistic people, I feel, often battle with feeling old before our time. So maybe a bit of danger in his life would do him good. Maybe he needs a 'midlife crisis' like escape right now. Just preferably one he can afford.

Thank you Peter that’s a very good idea, I will certainly try it. He has gone into shutdown again and blocked us on wats app, it’s so hard to know wat to do when he does this. Do we try snd contact him or leave him to come out of it. The reason he blocked us was because he said he had bought a motorbike because he wants danger in his life! Also I know he can’t afford it and so I told him wat a bad idea it was. He’s 30 now snd since the breskdown of his relationship he has become much worse and whereas he used to talk to me a lot he doesn’t speak much now, it’s heartbreaking when we have done so much for him to try and improve his life and it upsets me every day. 

Why not make the money conditional on getting money management counciling